Posting on this website for recovery

[Oscen]

Yesterday, I read a post from another forum member who has come so far in their recovery that they no longer display the symptoms of cPTSD. I tried to find the post just now, but couldn't, so I can't remember their name. I noticed that they had been a member here for two years and in that time, had posted on average three times per day. This made me realise what a potent resource this forum can be.

I am resolving to post here regularly, about whatever crosses my mind. I also have my paper journal and have started a recovery journal thread here too, but I like the idea of posting more replies to ongoing conversations. I think this forum provides the best of both worlds when it comes to giving voice to our thoughts and feelings - it's written down, anonymous, moderated, and only people who really "get" cPTSD will see it, so it's non-threatening; but it also has responses from real-life people, giving other viewpoints and more emotional support. Win-win. So you'll be seeing more posts from me in future. 

[Elphanigh]

Hi Oscen,

I think that post was probably mine (if it was a recent one). There have been a few other people that posted similarly in the past, but my post was recent on it. The forum has been a giant help in the almost two years I have been on it. There were times I posted a lot, and others I would be gone but an average of three sounds about right.

Either way just wanted to stop by and say this forum is definitely a resource and I am glad you see that  I look forward to reading the thoughts you have to post

[Oscen]

Hi Elphanigh, yes, it was you! Thanks for posting. Yes, it had your stats just under your profile pic, so I put two and two together and thought, I'll try it! My biggest problem at the moment is, I keep blurting out too much information to people I know, just seeking validation. I'm not quite yet able to contain my story and validate myself internally. And not talking about it is just as bad, because it bottles it up and it festers. I'm currently seeking a suitable therapist, but 50 minutes per week only goes so far. Hopefully I'll get some of the validation I need here, venting in an appropriate setting. Thanks again for sharing your story and inspiring me to try something new; hope you're enjoying feeling stronger and freer. 

[Elphanigh]

Hi Oscen,

Hopefully posting more here helps. I also had a hard time containing my story at one point (that gets better btw), so writing here and being part of another survivor group helped so much! Also therapy goes a long way to feel like the story is getting the attention it needs. I have also had the pleasure of having a few friends in my life that are comfortable with listening to my story and safe for me to share with when I feel the need to tell someone outside of here and my therapist. The more healing I did the more that need dissipated. There are still times I really feel like sharing, but I don't tend to overshare anymore. It helps to learn boundaries when you get the chance, strong boundaries help us not overshare.

That being said I am certainly no expert (although I do start school in this area in August). I do feel stronger and freer on so many levels. It is hard to explain. I am super close to not even qualifying for PTSD in its traditional form as well. It is weird to have that happen.

I am glad that can be at all an inspiration (although I forget it can be). 

[Ecowarrior888]

Wow... I didnt know that was a need. Because I've had this conversation with my husband before about how I feel I have to tell them about my diagnosis. What I grew up with because of the causes of my anxieties etc. And he was just like not everyone has to know. And I know that, but If it's something I'm fighting in my head all the time it feels like I'm hiding. Or I'll just start talking about it randomly because I'mfighting guilt......

This is normal in recovery?

[woodsgnome]

I'm not sure there is a 'normal' in recovery, but I've found that being able to share more somehow does lessen the grief and diminish the pain (some of it self-inflicted) somewhat. Not telling anyone just made it all seem like this guilty little secret -- taking on guilt I didn't have to, but still bottled up inside.

When I finally did begin not hiding so much via a therapist and by visiting this forum, things just seemed freer. Never easy, though, considering the ultra-sensitivity of the issues discussed here.

At least here there's a fair chance that someone will resonate or share something that people who haven't experienced cptsd in their own lives would relate to. Something I've also noticed on OOTS is when, on reading someone else's commentary on something I relate to, I realize things about my own predicament I hadn't notice on my own. Things that even the best in-person friends couldn't fully comprehend, unless they'd been down this road, too.

I hope that makes at least some sense about how these bits of shared experiences can indeed play a positive role in taking steps to recovery.