New here: Newly diagnosed, Long lived

Started by 58Shannon, March 19, 2015, 05:00:21 AM

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58Shannon

I am new here, looking for answers like the rest here, I suppose.  I have been in and out of various treatments since I was a suicidal teenager. I have had good therapy and I have had the worst therapy imaginable.  My most recent crisis two years ago sent me looking again for help to deal with my extreme emotions and sense of deep, deep loss.  The psychiatrist sent me to therapy and the therapist sent me to someone for EMDR.  That person has identified me as having C-PTSD.  She told me a week or so ago and I am split in what I think about it.  When we talked about it and I questioned the validity of the label, I was told I was minimizing my traumas and that it was a classic symptom.  I agree there are SOME symptoms that I have displayed but I am not convinced that this is applicable to me.  I was never violently beaten or raped, starved to death or literally abandoned.  Are there others here who also wonder if this is just the latest "fad" label for someone who has experienced childhood sexual abuse, emotional neglect and on-going issues with sexual abuse?  I figure my depression is pretty understandable and it rarely cripples me.  If this "diagnosis" is appropriate for me, then I want to believe it and deal with it appropriately.  I guess I am avoiding yet another "label" as I believe they can be hurtful and limiting.  Anyway, I am glad to have found this site and look forward to any feedback.
Thank you!

schrödinger's cat

#1
Hi Shannon! Could you explain just how you meant what you said about "fads" and "labelling"? I'm really not sure at all how to take this. You're newly diagnosed, so I'm assuming you're not fully aware yet how grave a matter CPTSD can be. If it isn't for you, then hooray and huzzah, you should absolutely go celebrate. But please keep in mind that the rest of us do have CPTSD. Quite a lot of us come from extremely abusive families of origin, where even massive abuse was routinely whitewashed and explained away. And emotional abuse/neglect is even easier to explain away, of course. Maybe this happened to you? Abusers commonly take great pains to convince us that we had happy childhoods and there's nothing whatsoever the matter. You're welcome to explore this matter here on OOTS. But you see, because so many of us have been exposed to whitewashing and gaslighting, it would a good thing if you could explain yourself a bit more clearly. If you simply meant that your therapist was kind of trigger-happy with her diagnoses when it came to your specific case, please say so. Right now, you're calling CPTSD "the latest fad label" for problems with CSA and CEN. That's a very startling thing to say to people who're struggling to cope with massive childhood trauma.

hugo

#2
Hey - I get the label issue.  I have probably 5 or so labels that directly apply to me and I regularly get hung up on them.  I have several other labels that either might apply to me or actually do apply to me at times and don't apply to me at other times.  When I start going down that road, I drive myself nuts.

In just this last year it was pointed out to me that a label is a judgment.  To apply a label to something means that I have judged it.  I personally have found C-PTSD to be the most dead on explanation for what I go through and to get inside that explanation has given me quite a bit of relief.  Over time, my biggest stumbling block has been my minimization of the trauma that occurred to me, which mostly consisted of emotional neglect (although there was some pretty * conduct in there as well).  Still, I would hold up my trauma to someone else's trauma and figure I must just be weak.

But that is a judgment also.

Judgment is a disease that binds us to the past and steals our hope for a better future.  I try not to judge because at the end of the day, my most brutal judgment is always reserved for myself.

So do look into C-PTSD.  To find that it fits has given me a ton of both peace and freedom.

C.

Hmmmm...I guess I just want to say that all of my abuse was emotional/verbal.  It was also covert.  It was also "unintentional."  With all of that packaging I did not count myself as an abuse survivor for 45+ years.  Then I had a crisis in 2012 and started intensive therapy.  Around that time I read through symptoms of general anxiety disorder, ptsd, depression, PD, mood disorder, & adhd and nothing really fit.  This past summer I came across more detailed information about cptsd.  I read the list of symptoms for cptsd and bingo, it fit.  So for me to heal meant to understand my illness/issue.  Have you had a chance to read through the symptoms of cptsd?  Like was mentioned above if the symptoms fit, hurray!  Continue being your own best advocate and let others know that cptsd doesn't fit you.

I also get the idea of labels, like it feels like an easy way out, maybe judgmental?  You have every right to reject a label. 

And I am sorry that you've felt depressed, extreme emotions and a sense of loss.  Those are big and painful realities.

It sounds like the way that your therapist spoke with you caused you to feel defensive, which is not a good sign, from my perspective, about the therapist.  A more skillful therapist would not create that feeling for you or if she noticed your defensiveness and questioning would be able to rectify it much better.  It sounds like she's made the decision, she tells you, and she expects you to read and accept her decision...hmmm...I wouldn't like to be treated that way either.  She may still be a good therapist for you I'm just wondering about the way that you were presented with this diagnosis.

I have been a recipient of therapy as well as a periphereal "provider."  I was a home visitor, family educator, case manager, prevention, and early childhood specialist for many years.  I also studied Public Health.  When you mention trend my only response is that, sadly, yes, this has become common in our society.  But, I don't think because it's popular or trendy in the media.  I think we have an epidemic of poor childhood experiences that lead to an array of MH issues, one of which is cptsd.

Thank you for the opportunity to think these ideas through, for reaching out here, and keeping an open mind about yourself.  That's what's most important.  This is your journey in healing and that is entirely unique to your experience and person.

Whatever you decide, welcome to this forum.  I wish you the best in healing.