Newbie intro

Started by MarionNL, April 06, 2019, 09:49:53 AM

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MarionNL

Hi! I am Marion from the Netherlands. I'm 53 y/o.

I was recently diagnosed with CPTSD after having struggled with recurring depression and binge eating disorder, BED. I started psychotherapy for CPTSD in January and am finally convinced that I have the right diagnosis and therapist.

My CPTSD stems from neglect starting in early childhood, abandonment – both emotional and physical - and being parentified by my mother during. I'm starting to remember instances that I think were scapegoating, too.

In school and in my neighborhood I was severely bullied and terrorized by several children. The bullying started at age 4 and finally ended when we moved when I was 15. Neither my parents nor teachers ever intervened. So I learned to distrust everyone as there was nobody whom I could confide in.

My life has been lonely up until now. I have been educating myself, reading lots of books about CPTSD, and am starting to understand how deeply my childhood experiences have influenced my self-image and my interaction with the rest of the world. On a recent holiday I met lots of people and was able to really connect. It's scary and exciting to make friends at last!

I'm so glad to have found this forum and am eager to participate.

LearnToLoveTheRide

Welcome Marion from the Netherlands.

It's great to hear that you have the right diagnosis and a good therapist, even if it took you so long to get it.

There are plenty of friendly and well-educated users on the forum. It's wonderful to get their engagement.

Take care... LTLTR

MarionNL

Thanks for the welcome, LTLTR!  :heythere:

I'll be sure to check out the conversations on the different boards. It will take awhile to get familiar with the workings  :stars:

Three Roses

 Hello and welcome, MarionNL!

QuoteSo I learned to distrust everyone as there was nobody whom I could confide in.

This was/is me, too. So sorry you experienced it.  :hug:

Not Alone


saturnine

Welcome! What a great feeling, to be able to really connect after so long in loneliness. I'm very glad for you :)

MarionNL

Thank you, Three Roses, notalone and saturnine for the welcome!

@ Three Roses
I'm so sorry you have the same conditioning. It's hard to trust and open up. I'm working on it and feel scared every single time. But I also feel proud for doing it anyhow  :boogie:

@saturnine
It does feel great and I wish the same for others who also suffer the effects of c-ptsd  :hug:

Kizzie

Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS Marion  :heythere:   It's great to hear that in addition to finding your way here and reaching out, you have been able to connect with a T and people on your trip. Relationships can be really difficult for us to navigate but it's important to recovery so :thumbup: