I’m having a lovely day, really, filled with activities that I enjoy. Exercising, playing my instruments, reading. And yet, I see and feel the ghosts of “not enough” creeping into small spaces between my thoughts. They are so nasty that I use eating as a way not to have to really deal with them. I try to become numb, to play dead so they won’t notice me here. This is not a very effective strategy. The “not enough” ghosts just laugh at my feeble attempts, which themselves are not enough to escape the shadowy memories.
Sigh. I suppose this recognition may be a baby step towards progress.