Avoidance

Started by Oscen, April 26, 2019, 11:15:57 AM

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Oscen

Throughout my life, I didn't learn proper affective regulation as a kid. I didn't have the proper acceptance, attention and feedback from my primary carer, so naturally, I didn't develop it. My method to get by was avoidance. I avoided making friends, avoided getting involved in groups (I told myself I was "superior" to make myself feel better), and as a young adult, I avoided new things and situations that made me feel uncomfortable.

The avoidance has cost me so much, although I see that it was also not a completely bad choice - it helped me keep my composure, and not be abusive towards other people as I would behave when I got overstimulated. I was able to keep a sense of identity as being a good person.

Now, I am working on my emotional regulation. I've come a long way. Of course, there's further to go, but I feel proud.
Overcoming my urge to hold back and avoid things is a challenge. I'm working part-time hours, and I'm developing some of my creative interests.
Actually getting out there and giving it a go, and using my free time to develop these skills, is a completely new habit to develop.
For the time being, I am continuing to make self-care my number 1 priority, which includes regulating my emotional well-being, but trying these new things is the goal after that in my sights.

Not Alone

Quote from: Oscen on April 26, 2019, 11:15:57 AM
Now, I am working on my emotional regulation. I've come a long way. Of course, there's further to go, but I feel proud.
Overcoming my urge to hold back and avoid things is a challenge. I'm working part-time hours, and I'm developing some of my creative interests.
Actually getting out there and giving it a go, and using my free time to develop these skills, is a completely new habit to develop.
For the time being, I am continuing to make self-care my number 1 priority, which includes regulating my emotional well-being, but trying these new things is the goal after that in my sights.

:cheer: Sending you encouragement and support as you take these brave next steps.

Kizzie

Awesome to hear you are making progress Oscen!  :thumbup:  and  :cheer: