Hi Little Birdy, I'm a recovering people pleaser too, although I was never actually that pleasing! Just tried waaaay too hard.
I remember getting a bit obsessive over a colleague who was quite outgoing and cool but basically snubbed me from her first day.
She was so confident though, I desperately craved her approval despite disliking her intensely.
For some reason, I just wasn't able to make the judgment that she was not important to me, and therefore I only needed to be civil.
Winning her approval took on this huge significance for me; the conflicting emotions I felt were so intense, over this person I barely knew!
I think she must have reminded me in some ways of my sister, who made me hustle for her approval all through our childhood.
My sister dominated me so much that I was unable to actually make judgments for myself; I was so reliant on my sister interpreting and labelling the world for me.
Not only was I then attracted to more dominant people, but I was unable to judge situations for myself and respond accordingly.
Are you a fawn type? I'm more of a freeze type usually, but in the workplace, I get overwhelmed and I think I can be pretty erratic in how I respond.
I think I tend to fawn in the face of perceived potential rejection, with icky results.