Dissociating for a few days

[Oscen]

Yesterday and the day before, I noticed I was browsing online shopping when I had some quite urgent work to be doing.
It's one of my addictive procrastination activities - not spending money, thank god, but wasting lots of time and energy searching for some "must have" item online.
I also noticed that my energy to do things - initiative - was very low yesterday as well. I got home and just didn't feel like doing dishes or prepping for work.

I think I used to feel this way practically all the time, but over the last couple of years it's been getting a little better - I'll just go and get started on some small activity that I know will make me feel better for having done it, and that usually gives me a little boost.
I noticed how I was feeling yesterday because it has become more unusual for me to feel that way over the last year.

Now I'm wondering what is the cause of the low mood.

I went away for the weekend and so didn't post here every day.
I wonder if posting here has been lifting my mood a bit.
Other things are my marathon - I was feeling a little underwhelmed by my experience and I'd been preparing for it for four months, so perhaps it's a slump after the anticipation. Perhaps even hormones from after the run, or a physical response to the pain and fatigue.

I'm feeling positive that at least I'm noticing my moods, and having a problem-solving response to them.

[Blueberry]

Oscen, I understand your frustration very well. Who wants to go back to dissociating after having stopped?!? But that's often how it works when healing from cptsd.

However, when I read your post I see a lot of progress!  You even mention it yourself so you see it too. Even recognising your own progress and writing about it is another form of progress for some of us on here, including myself. For you too though, if I remember your other post correctly.

You noticed that you were browsing online instead of attending to urgent matters. Yay for noticing! You noticed that your mood state yesterday used to be almost all the time, but these days more rare. Yay for noticing! And Yay for the progress of not being semi-permanently dissociated. I used to be in a low-level dissociation for weeks at a time. I now come out of it much faster which is due to progress in healing. For you too I'm sure. 

Quoting you: "I'll just go and get started on some small activity that I know will make me feel better for having done it, and that usually gives me a little boost."       Great problem-solving. I try to do this too so I know it works but I still have to push myself. Sounds as if you just go and do it!

[Three Roses]

[Kizzie]

I'm feeling positive that at least I'm noticing my moods, and having a problem-solving response to them.

Yay you

[Ecowarrior888]

Yay! thats an accomplishment! As much as it feels like a set back it definitely sounds like progress. I disassociate for weeks and wouldnt notice until i "woke up" but the face you noticed in the moment?that is awesome.

Little by little, you all give me hope