Deep Blue’s progression not perfection journal

[Sceal]

I am sorry I missed your birthday! Happy belated birthday! *hug*

Don't give up. Never do that. Maybe change tactics? Or carve a new path, but don't give up. You can take breaks, we are all allowed breaks to rest and gather strength to keep on going. I believe in you, and I am fairly certain I'm not the only one.

[Deep Blue]

Thanks Jdog,
You are right... quitting therapy when it gets hard is not a good option. I just get so darn sad lately.  It used to be more anxiety but lately it's more depression... I don't like the transition I guess 

3R,
I don't know of any support groups like that near me, but it does sound nice. I'm tired of feeling so alone.  It's like a mental isolation ya know?

Sceal,
My sweet Sceal, thank you.  I need to change tactics I think.  Since I'm experiencing different responses and emotions I think changing tactics is exactly what I need do help me deal with them.  Thanks friend 

[Jdog]

I'm so sorry for your deep sadness.  I wish we could have coffee IRL.  Not that I could take away the sadness, but I would listen and you could maybe feel that nice feeling of being listened to.

I am thinking of you, and sending healing energy!

[sanmagic7]

so very sorry for your sadness lately.  since it seems to have switched, maybe there's been a shift mentally or emotionally that you're not consciously aware of.  or, maybe the depression is beginning to manifest itself in some of its separate pieces - sometimes that's easier to deal with and not so confusing.  i don't know for sure, just a thought.

i'm glad you think that quitting wouldn't be a good option.  as far as reaching mental stability, i don't think you can rule that out.  not yet.  you've come a long way, you're realizing and handling things in your life differently, and you're reaching out more, which i think is a sign of mental stability.  we all need the support of others, and that's a stable thing to be able to know and act upon.  i hope you can give yourself credit for all that you've done, continue to do, and how far you've come.

sending love and a hug filled w/ deep blue flowers.

[Tee]

 

[Deep Blue]

Thanks for the hug Tee,
It is sweet of you.

San,
As always you are very insightful. I think there may be an emotion shift occurring.  I love the flowers.  They are beautiful.

Jdog,
Gosh that would be wonderful. I wish we really could hang out in real life.  I wish we worked together too.  I'm sure we would get along swimmingly in a work setting.
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I think I'm going to go write in the therapy portion of the forum today.  I'll go there a little later.  I'm finished with the latest exposure therapy and I need to write about it.

Love u all, thanks 

[Sceal]

Sending you an invitation to come join me watch "The Theory of Everything" while nibbling on some brownies or carrot cake and having tea. Take a break from everything for a short while. *hug*

[Deep Blue]

Thanks Sceal,
I need to sit in the hug a bit today.  Carrot cake it is. 

Don't let me get lost! The thick depression is there and I'm contemplating bad things. Things I know better than to do...

[Not Alone]

Deep Blue, it is so hard when those feelings and thoughts come. That darkness. I care about you. If I was with you IRL, I would wrap you in my special blanket, bring you a cup of tea or coffee, and listen if you feel like talking or just sit with you.

[Jdog]

Feelings always change.  Life is about impermanence.  This feels like a forever thing when we get stuck, but remember all the other times when you became unstuck.  It will happen once more.  Faith is hardest to keep when we sit in the dark.  But the light is still there, coming toward you.  You are never forgotten, never alone.

[Snowdrop]

I hope you can feel the love that everybody here has for you. I know it's hard, but you'll get through this. Above the clouds, the sky is still blue. Sending you a if that helps.

[sanmagic7]

we won't let you get lost - we're here with you, all the way.     love you, db. 

[Blueberry]

 with you Deep Blue

[Deep Blue]

I need someone in real life...
Love you all but I need someone to watch over me, check on me, take care of me.

This should logically be my husband but it isn't.

Really really down. Feel like a waste, I'm at work but I'm not really here...

[Tee]

  I wish we could be there in real life for you.