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Dreading mother’s day

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Invisibledaughter

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Dreading mother’s day
« on: May 12, 2019, 05:22:47 AM »
It’s been about a year and a few months since I’ve gone LC with Narc Mom. Last year for mother’s day I just texted her and she told me she didn’t want anything anyway, I guess that was her way of taking control of my actions. She has to call all the shots.

This year I’m contemplating not even texting her, and my hubby said I should text her.

I’m torn, curious what most of you guys do?
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SharpAndBlunt

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Re: Dreading mother’s day
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2019, 07:49:52 AM »
Hi Invisibledaughter,

How about honouring your feelings and doing what feels right this year, for you? Your mother already established last year her feelings about mother's day. Maybe you could take her at her word and just let it go by?

That way, you can honour both your feelings about it and if you have any reaction from her or any feelings about it later you can take time to examine what they might mean, without the pressure of the day itself.

SaB
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Jdog

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Re: Dreading mother’s day
« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2019, 12:11:44 PM »
I agree with Sharp’s idea.  Just take a breather and let some of the red hot emotions cool a bit, then give yourself permission to reassess as needed. 
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Blueberry

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Re: Dreading mother’s day
« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2019, 03:08:06 PM »
 :yeahthat:

My M has never really been into M's Day so I feel no need to contact her in any way today. I don't contact her or anybody else much in FOO on birthdays either. It's too triggering. Me and my needs go first these days. I'm very LC.
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Three Roses

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Re: Dreading mother’s day
« Reply #4 on: May 12, 2019, 06:03:59 PM »
I say, take her at her word. There is nothing to say you have to read between the lines, although it seems that the sicker a person is the more they want you to have some sort of cosmic crystal ball to discern the true meaning of their words. If she wanted something from you for mother's day - a gift or just simply contact - she should say so.

If you are pressured into texting her, a simple "thinking of you" would suffice. It doesn't have to spell out exactly what it is you're thinking....
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notalone

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Re: Dreading mother’s day
« Reply #5 on: May 12, 2019, 06:19:02 PM »
Quote from: SharpAndBlunt on May 12, 2019, 07:49:52 AM
How about honouring your feelings and doing what feels right this year, for you?
Quote from: Three Roses on May 12, 2019, 06:03:59 PM
If you are pressured into texting her, a simple "thinking of you" would suffice. It doesn't have to spell out exactly what it is you're thinking....
:yeahthat:
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