Hello from a confused person

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SamBrainless

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Hello from a confused person
« on: April 13, 2019, 11:56:52 PM »
Hi. I was so so glad when I found this forum, because I hoped I might get some advice (even though no one here is qualified to diagnose me in any way, I just want to know I'm not 'going mad').

I've been in and out of therapy since I was 7, ive got a laundry list of diagnosis including PTSD and BPD. I'm currently waiting to go back into therapy after a long long break, finally feeling ready at 25 to have trauma therapy. But I'm more and more convinced I have C-PTSD not PTSD. I never had a single trauma, I had multiple traumas, from multiple sources, spanning most of my late childhood and adolescence/teenage years. So what if my BPD diagnosis was wrong too, and it's all down to C-PTSD? I mentioned it to a doctor I saw and they said to mention it at the therapy group I was going to while I was waiting for therapy, the therapy group leaders said that was the doctors job.

I'm now not seeing either the therapy group (it ended and I'm back to being on a long waiting list) or the doctor (it was a terrible GP practice and I'm switching doctors) so I just feel lost and like I'm driving myself mad over this  ???

I'm sorry, this was a much longer introduction than I intended! I've needed to get it out for so long. But anyway, I'm glad to be among people who understand

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notalone

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Re: Hello from a confused person
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2019, 01:56:06 AM »
I don't have any input regarding diagnosis, but do want to welcome you to OOTS.

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woodsgnome

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Re: Hello from a confused person
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2019, 03:01:01 AM »
Hi  :wave:

I hope your joining on with OOTS will be like turning a corner, and that you can find some new directions as you let the past recede further and strengthen the will to continue along recovery's path.

Seems like you may have some further sorting out to do with what's behind. It's alright, and as you say at least the people on this forum can relate to that as well. I hope you'll find that being here will help point out some ways others have dealt with similar issues on their journey. As you noted:  "I've needed to get it out for so long."

Hoping you'll feel better as you continue 'getting it out'.  :hug:

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Three Roses

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Re: Hello from a confused person
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2019, 05:33:23 AM »
Welcome!  :wave:

I believe I've heard that BPD is a common misdiagnosis for CPTSD. You will get lots of camaraderie here and discover you're not alone. I was diagnosed in 2012 with PTSD, and since coming here I've self- diagnosed as CPTSD. It's not in the AMA's diagnostic manual yet but practitioners are starting to diagnose it anyway. And it is being included in the World Health Organization's ICD-11, more here...https://icd.who.int/browse11/l-m/en#/http://id.who.int/icd/entity/585833559

 :heythere:

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SharpAndBlunt

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Re: Hello from a confused person
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2019, 11:37:12 AM »
Hi,

I also have faced difficulty in being diagnosed. Before that I struggled with acceptance from myself. I think that was through years of trying to explain to people what was happening and feeling completely invalidated every time. I learned to believe it was 'all in my head'.  :no:

So, my point is that I have eventually been given a diagnosis of complex trauma. I more or less had to fight for it. But I think things might be improving in that regard. It is still a very slow process, here in the UK. I had two appraisal sessions with a psychologist and the last one was back in December. She agreed with the cptsd diagnosis and has referred me on a course. I'm still waiting to hear back about that. I'm looking at private therapy with a trauma aware therapist, but it is expensive.

You are not going mad and you will find many lovely people here who will support when you need it. Welcome to the forum  :)


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Blueberry

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Re: Hello from a confused person
« Reply #5 on: April 14, 2019, 12:32:38 PM »
Welcome to the forum, Sam :heythere:

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Kizzie

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Re: Hello from a confused person
« Reply #6 on: April 14, 2019, 03:09:12 PM »
Hi and welcome to the forum Sam  :heythere:   

Misdiagnosis has been a common problem for many of us unfortunately.  Hopefully that will change as more practitioners learn about Complex PTSD. There's a thread that talks about the differences between BPD and CPTSD here and between PTSD and CPTSD here if you want to have a look.

Hopefully talking here will help as you switch to a new doc and get into another therapy group.  :grouphug:

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SamBrainless

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Re: Hello from a confused person
« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2019, 07:22:22 PM »
Thank you all, so much. It's nice to hear I'm not alone, or going mad, although I wish everybody else didn't have to feel all the bad stuff too!

It definitely is hard in the UK, and it seems not much is widely known about C-PTSD still, but we'll get there!

I'll definitely take a look at what you linked, thank you!!

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Kizzie

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Re: Hello from a confused person
« Reply #8 on: April 15, 2019, 06:49:22 PM »
 :grouphug:

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Boatsetsailrose

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Re: Hello from a confused person
« Reply #9 on: April 21, 2019, 11:13:30 AM »
Hi Sam I hear you... And have read many others who get a diagnosis of bpd when it's actually cptsd. It's great to see Kizzie has put some links for u to look at - I found them really helpful.
I have a fair bit of experience with gp's and charities / mental health services in the UK if that could be helpful for you?

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Kizzie

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Re: Hello from a confused person
« Reply #10 on: April 23, 2019, 04:38:56 PM »
Sorry, don't want to sidetrack the thread but Boats if/when you have time it would be great if you'd also add them to the new forum for the UK under "Country Specific Resources."  Tks!

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Boatsetsailrose

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Re: Hello from a confused person
« Reply #11 on: April 24, 2019, 08:42:26 AM »
Okey doke will. Do

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Oscen

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Re: Hello from a confused person
« Reply #12 on: April 29, 2019, 03:06:33 PM »
Hi Sam, welcome! I'm not surprised you're feeling confused.

I've heard of C-PTSD being misdiagnosed as BDP, too. I'm sure I could have been diagnosed with BPD for a fair few years in my 20s.
I've only ever been diagnosed as having depression, but I'm finding books and materials targeting C-PTSD are helping me enormously.
IMO, if the shoe fits, wear it. If it doesn't fit, don't buy it!

I think that the diagnosis itself will matter less to you once you're getting the right interventions and feel like you're making progress.
Of course, when the right diagnosis is a gateway to the right treatment, that can be frustrating.

If you can independently research and access what you need as much as possible, you will not only see more improvement quickly, but feel in the driving seat of your recovery, which I believe is ultimately more empowering and effective.

I'd start out with educating yourself as much as possible - there are some excellent books about C-PTSD linked to on the resources page on this forum, assuming reading is your thing, and assuming also that you have not already read them.
If you're finding reading tricky, consider getting them in audiobook form.

Reading these three books convinced me that I did have C-PTSD, and also that I could heal:
From Surviving To Thriving - Pete Walker
The Body Keeps The Score - Bessel Van Der Kolk
Healing From Trauma - Jasmin Lee Cori

And of course, keep seeking the treatment you need. Trauma-focused therapy would be ideal, but a more "general" therapist who you trust could be effective, too.
Just don't worry if the medical profession can't quite seem to agree on the best label or the best next step for you - you're the one who actually matters.
You're more than a few letters that describe your injury.

Welcome again.

Re: Hello from a confused person
« Reply #13 on: May 05, 2019, 01:41:11 AM »
Hi Sam
            I was misdiagnosed as having BPD in my 20ís, Iím now 44. I spent years trying different therapists, I knew I wasnít depressed but there was something going on. I thought it was a godsend when I was first diagnosed as bipolar. I was on quite a few medications, nothing ever worked. I was really close to having a nervous breakdown, so I checked myself into a local hospital, then realized I didnít belong there either.

            This was all around the time I met my husband. I think moving in together helped me. I ended up stopping my medication. It wasnít until my stepdadís death that I learned about C-PTSD. My mother just became ruthless. I was actually in counseling for my marriage and we uncovered some issues between my Mom and I. I immediately began therapy for my issues with my Mom.

            I was able to realize that the long term emotional abuse from my narcissistic mother has been my problem, I developed C-PTSD. Iím very lucky to have found a therapist that helped me uncover all of this.

             I do think that a lot of the symptoms can be the same, and since C-PTSD isnít really a mainstream diagnosis itís easily overlooked.

              Iím so happy that you found this website in your 20ís, I wish I had.

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johnram

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Re: Hello from a confused person
« Reply #14 on: May 14, 2019, 05:18:23 PM »
Hi and welcome to the forum Sam  :heythere:   

Misdiagnosis has been a common problem for many of us unfortunately.  Hopefully that will change as more practitioners learn about Complex PTSD. There's a thread that talks about the differences between BPD and CPTSD here and between PTSD and CPTSD here if you want to have a look.

Hopefully talking here will help as you switch to a new doc and get into another therapy group.  :grouphug:

thank you for the links, i have been quite curious on those distinctions