Alex Howard: Decode Your Trauma

[Blueberry]

https://www.decodeyourtrauma.com/optin1670336523317

It seems you can look at this any time or sign up any time, for free. I was sent a link to it a week or so ago, didn't participate. Then got a reminder a few days ago that it's re-running. Just googled and found the above link, which as I say seems to always be available.

I found it really useful, though originally I thought I wouldn't. I was thinking - know all that, heard all that, my problem is I don't follow through. Then: Hey presto, I got to hear why I have so much trouble following through on things for myself.

[Blueberry]

Of course it's not a case of listen to this and heal (unlock your potential) but there's really useful information in there.

I took notes as usual, but fortunately ran out of scrap paper to write on.

I'll write a few here from days 1-3, in no particular order:

Heard of Big T and Small T trauma? Those are out-of-date designations for what are now called Overt and Covert. Covert can be worse in its impact because of not being recognised as trauma by practitioners and others.

We have 3 core emotional needs: boundaries, safety, love.  Emotional boundaries could also be defined as 'delineation between self and others', they help us say Yes or No to others and to ourselves. If you have difficulty committing to yourself and following through with what you know to be healthy for yourself, then probably your core emotional need for boundaries was not met in childhood. Love as an emotional need is not achieved by 'knowing' you were loved, it had to be a 'felt' sense of being loved e.g. your parents were interested in you, they were interested in doing things with you that interested you, not just things that interested them. 

These 3 core emotional needs are needs, they are not wishes, luxury etc.

When we become more resilient, we feel more but are impacted less, so resiliency doesn't mean we become hardened.

Our nervous systems normalised what went on during the trauma events, so that way we learned to do what our environment wanted. We tend to continue to recreate the environment we were in. An important pathway to healing is to try and change that environment now.

There's more. This is just what stuck out for me, based on my history and where I am now.

I'll copy my notes over to my Journal and add my own reactions and thoughts over there in case any mbrs want to read them in context.

[BecomingMe]

Thanks so much for sharing this and for your personal notes I am definitely going to look at this

[Blueberry]

Glad it's helpful for you, BecomingMe