coming back on this, as i needed to think a bit further.
Put simple, i think my biggest gap is empathy actually, as a child and the eldest child i was cut off from feelings as part of neglect / disassociation - its why the addictions took place etc. I understand that now. Empathy is something that has been coming through as i have worked on myself and really felt the pain i needed to work through - put another way, when you cant feel yourself its impossible to empathise. That being said, i have always wanted to help others, likely for the wrong reasons, but now, it feels its in my gift, in that so many Ts dont understand, cant relate. Now i feel it more, still working on empathy and its really shifted in the last year plus.
So i think then the question is, why become a therapist, well i am good at challenging - that isnt as much of an issue for me (but i am careful with it), i am also very good at investigating and understanding the story from both an impact point of view, and working on the empathy part.
I do believe this is a job i would be fulfilled in, my old skin of working has changed, and i want to work in a way that really has meaning, and i think this type of work will really help me develop solid boundaries, which is something i have also learnt in last few years and still implementing
So as much as boundaries in this profession are super key, i think in life being generous, and giving within reason is fine, as there are not enough people doing enough good, i see and feel so much pain and suffering out there. I look at homeless people so differently now, one because i can see how that was not far from my path but also, the pain to get there, and the strength to survive it, but also i observe that most people cant comprehend, and dont even try to appreciate anothers suffering.
a curse and a blessing to be able to share in anothers pain i think is what i feel, and that draws me to help.
That being said, keen to hear views and thoughts as i want to be challenged on this