Both have CPTSD?

[TunnelEyes]

Hiya, new here.

Anyway most of this is speculation but just theorizing and overthinking as usual.

So I'm concerned about finding myself slightly attracted to someone with the same issues/illness. This is a double edged sword in that although we u derstand each other very well, this could potentially be a very bad combination?

If anyone has any personal experience I'd love to hear, Google searches yield very little

[Three Roses]

Hi there, welcome! There's a ton of resources here, and a supportive community to help you. I hear your question about relationships - my husband and I have many of the same issues, although they may manifest differently. It made for a volatile relationship when we were younger, that's for sure. We are now in our 60s and coming up on our 37th anniversary this summer. I think it's impossible to find someone without issues; if you're both searching for healing, together and separately, it can work imo. As long as you're both safe, and learning from mistakes. Just my two cents.


(PS - you may not get a lot of welcomes where you've posted - if you want, you can try an intro post here. https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?board=10.0   You don't have to, but it may feel nice to get more "welcome" comments.)

[Blueberry]

Welcome to the forum TunnelEyes!

[jedi_giraffe]

I think my boyfriend and I both have C-PTSD. We're in couples' therapy because our traumas caused so much damage to our relationship for several years. In a way, we have an understanding of each other that other people may not have, which can be helpful. However, there is a lot of uncertainty about if we'll be able to continue our relationship because of all the damage that's been done. I think 2 people with C-PTSD can have a successful relationship if they are willing and able to communicate openly about their triggers and work hard to support each other. I really hope that'll be the case for us.

[Anjulie]

Hi TunnelEyes, and welcome to the forum.

if you're both searching for healing, together and separately, it can work imo. As long as you're both safe, and learning from mistakes.

I agree with Three Roses on that.
My husband and I have both cptsd although with him it's a milder form. We are very happy together even though we separately have big problems to deal with. Certainly, sometimes its hard to not get "infected" when the other has a very hard time. But overall, we just "fit" perfectly as a couple ( I had loads of short relationships with "healthier"  boyfriends before and it never worked).
I know that this may be rare luck. But you can just find out by trying, in my opinion.