Both have CPTSD?

Started by TunnelEyes, June 02, 2019, 11:20:39 PM

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TunnelEyes

Hiya, new here.

Anyway most of this is speculation but just theorizing and overthinking as usual.

So I'm concerned about finding myself slightly attracted to someone with the same issues/illness. This is a double edged sword in that although we u derstand each other very well, this could potentially be a very bad combination?

If anyone has any personal experience I'd love to hear, Google searches yield very little

Three Roses

#1
Hi there, welcome! There's a ton of resources here, and a supportive community to help you. I hear your question about relationships - my husband and I have many of the same issues, although they may manifest differently. It made for a volatile relationship when we were younger, that's for sure. We are now in our 60s and coming up on our 37th anniversary this summer. I think it's impossible to find someone without issues; if you're both searching for healing, together and separately, it can work imo. As long as you're both safe, and learning from mistakes. Just my two cents.
:heythere:

(PS - you may not get a lot of welcomes where you've posted - if you want, you can try an intro post here. https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?board=10.0   You don't have to, but it may feel nice to get more "welcome" comments.)

Blueberry

Welcome to the forum TunnelEyes!

jedi_giraffe

I think my boyfriend and I both have C-PTSD. We're in couples' therapy because our traumas caused so much damage to our relationship for several years. In a way, we have an understanding of each other that other people may not have, which can be helpful. However, there is a lot of uncertainty about if we'll be able to continue our relationship because of all the damage that's been done. I think 2 people with C-PTSD can have a successful relationship if they are willing and able to communicate openly about their triggers and work hard to support each other. I really hope that'll be the case for us.

Anjulie

Hi TunnelEyes, and welcome to the forum.
Quoteif you're both searching for healing, together and separately, it can work imo. As long as you're both safe, and learning from mistakes.
I agree with Three Roses on that.
My husband and I have both cptsd although with him it's a milder form. We are very happy together even though we separately have big problems to deal with. Certainly, sometimes its hard to not get "infected" when the other has a very hard time. But overall, we just "fit" perfectly as a couple ( I had loads of short relationships with "healthier"  boyfriends before and it never worked).
I know that this may be rare luck. But you can just find out by trying, in my opinion.