The last few days have been very tough for me. I need to express why as today is especially tough.
Since 1983 I have stepped up to care for my elder family members. I no longer have to do that, and for much of those decades, I did that alone. No one else would help me. So friendships waned and distance's grew. I always called my friends, wrote letters and messages, and I showed up to help them if I could. When asked by them to show up somewhere, I did, only to find they wanted me for my skills, and was often relegated to work instead of socializing.
It really hit me these last few weeks when I myself needed a doctor's help. The only emergency contact I could put down was myself. My friends for the last few years have been "too busy" to check on me.
Then this week, one of my "adopted" brothers who I have helped a lot over the years, showed up in Hawaii as I saw his posts. He went to a retirement for his "good friend". Then a few days ago, he posted he was in Colorado and helping another "good friend". He is too busy to see me, and it would take an hour for him to come from his house to my house to visit. He was here last July to tell me he was very sick, and I helped him get his house ready so he and his wife could move. That's the last he has been to visit or to call me.
So I'm having a bad day today. Again in my mind I figure I'm the only constant in the equation. It is very difficult for someone with a kind heart to not have human contact. But like I said, I will survive.
AncientSoul
