Does the manipulation ever stop?

Started by Tee, June 09, 2019, 05:35:08 AM

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Tee

Just have to vent because my head can't stop looping.  Why is that my NM thinks that asking my husband if they can take my two children ages 10 and 6 for a two night trip to go bike riding on trials is ok?  To me that is very manipulative and also a hard pass.  Last time my parents took my children away for a time my aunt was also there as a buffer! She saw the abusive side of my NM and refuses to be around her. So no you may not take my children who by the way just learned to ride Thier bikes this year or on bike paths to ride out until they get tired and the belittle and berate them the whole way back to the car making them hate their bikes.  And how dare you try to get around me by asking my husband instead of me. :aaauuugh:.
But good job husband his response was I'll have to check with me ;D ok rant complete does the manipulation ever end? ???

Blueberry


Phoebes

Sounds about right! Great job not letting it happen, and great job dad! They are outrageous in their thinking, aren't they.

Not Alone

Hearing your anger.  :pissed: :pissed: :pissed: Yay for your husband.  :cheer: Good job seeing the manipulation clearly and allowing yourself to feel angry and to vent.  :applause:

Three Roses

Great job! It's awesome you can see right thru her tactics! Sad to say, the manipulation will probably never end. Statistics tell us that the chances for a narcissist to change are very small.

sanmagic7

chiming in, piggy-backing on everyone else's congrats to you and your husband for being aware and standing up to manipulation.  from what i've seen and heard, it's doubtful that the manipulation will ever end, except by the fact that we keep our distance and not let them into our world.  that's probably the only way they won't manipulate us.

i've also had experience w/ them getting to us through our children, so a double whammy.  good for both of you for not allowing this to happen.  :thumbup:  and, glad you could come here to rant.  it's always helped me!

love and hugs!

Tee

Thanks for the support my husband told them the kids were not ready for a trip like that. I was too angry to talk to them.

Healing Finally

Hi Tee  :wave: - so awesome that your husband understands your family situation and is able to buffer the abuse.  I totally understand the looping.  It all seems so hopeless.  I guess to answer your question, no, the manipulation never stops.  We need to learn to accept this.  I'm working on it, but it's a struggle.   :grouphug:

Tee

My husband doesn't understand the family dynamic, and when I try to tell him he says he doesn't see it.  However, he does respect me, and wants me to feel safe.  I think he realizes that I may know my M and F better than he does and allows me to make the decisions for the most part with what should take place with being alone with our kids.  :) Even though he doesn't understand or really want to understand the junk that goes on in my head. :stars:

CheshireCanary

You totally did the right thing by protecting your kids from a situation you knew would be hurtful for them,   :cheer:, you did exactly the right thing no matter how your mom and dad reacted. Glad your husband it so supportive and has your back.

I have a very toxic mother so I know how you feel. If yours is like mine, you  can bet your butt she will treat you kids the way she does you,  :pissed: and possibly even be cruel to them just to hurt you.  I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Family is supposed to love unconditionally, but the toxic ones seem to enjoy spreading misery instead. BUT it sounds like you and your husband are great parents, and you're preventing them from being around people who could seriously scar their self esteem. You sound like a wonderful mom!