Finding my centre

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bluepalm

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Finding my centre
« on: June 14, 2019, 04:34:01 AM »
I wrote this poem this morning under an impulse to mark a new stage in my healing; a new sense of being grounded and centred.

'Uluru' is a beautiful, large red sandstone rock formation in central Australia that is sacred to the local Indigenous people.

Finding my centre

There has been no Uluru
inside me to ground me.
There has been nothing but
doubt and confusion.

There has been a readiness
always to disparage myself.
A readiness to erase
my existence and achievements.

But now, towards the end of this long journey
I'm daring to sense my centre.
All that doubt and confusion has led
to something solid and beautiful.

(See how my fingers hesitated
to type 'beautiful' - is this too much,
too bold, too outrageous a word
to apply to me?)

I stand on top of my own rock now,
having climbed from that
black hellish nightmare
almost always isolated and alone.
 

My rock is built on my courage
in the face of an empty universe.

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Kizzie

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Re: Finding my centre
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2019, 04:32:42 PM »
Lovely to read that you are healing BluePalm  :grouphug:

Quote
I stand on top of my own rock now,
having climbed from that
black hellish nightmare
almost always isolated and alone. 

My deepest wish/hope is that as awareness of the debilitating effects of relational trauma grows there will be  more treatment, services and supports so we are not so alone. 


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BeHea1thy

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Re: Finding my centre
« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2019, 04:47:54 PM »
Quote
I'm daring to sense my centre.
All that doubt and confusion has led
to something solid and beautiful.

BluePalm,

thanks for writing and posting your poem! It's a wonderful place to sense new healing stages and the feeling of (at last) being grounded and centered.
keep writing and sharing.  :hug:

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woodsgnome

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Re: Finding my centre
« Reply #3 on: June 14, 2019, 05:19:08 PM »
So ... sooo ... so (pausing for you to fully realize:

     sooo

BEAUTIFUL ...  :yourock:     :yeahthat:

Thank you ... it's pretty easy to forget that beautiful part; it can be overused in these times, but for those of us who've been on this road, the reminder is never not needed, never routine. We know this territory, sometimes following tears and doubts and what have you ... so thanks again  :hug:

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bluepalm

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Re: Finding my centre
« Reply #4 on: June 14, 2019, 09:57:17 PM »
Kizzie, BeHea1thy, woodsgnome - a heartfelt thank you, through tears, for your support. It's such a hard journey isn't it!

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notalone

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Re: Finding my centre
« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2019, 02:41:12 AM »
Wow! Powerful and beautiful.

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RiverRabbit

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Re: Finding my centre
« Reply #6 on: June 19, 2019, 09:09:41 PM »
Bluepalm...
This feels like the first, careful, steps off of a field where a battle raged... the morning mist softening the carnage left behind... but, it was carnage.  And the pain of wounds sustained making you wince as you walk.

Just the picture I get when I read this.

I am coming out of a battle I feel that I lost, sorry I have been away... will be writing more soon.
« Last Edit: June 19, 2019, 11:35:44 PM by RiverRabbit »

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Kizzie

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Re: Finding my centre
« Reply #7 on: June 20, 2019, 05:24:50 PM »
It is a hard journey BluePalm  :grouphug:  (but we are so worth it  :yes:)

RiverRabbit - So sorry to hear you've been doing battle and feel you lost  :grouphug: