I'll survive

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AncientSoul

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I'll survive
« on: June 09, 2019, 02:12:43 AM »
The last few days have been very tough for me. I need to express why as today is especially tough.

Since 1983 I have stepped up to care for my elder family members. I no longer have to do that, and for much of those decades, I did that alone. No one else would help me. So friendships waned and distance's grew. I always called my friends, wrote letters and messages, and I showed up to help them if I could. When asked by them to show up somewhere, I did, only to find they wanted me for my skills, and was often relegated to work instead of socializing.

It really hit me these last few weeks when I myself needed a doctor's help. The only emergency contact I could put down was myself. My friends for the last few years have been "too busy" to check on me.

Then this week, one of my "adopted" brothers who I have helped a lot over the years, showed up in Hawaii as I saw his posts. He went to a retirement for his "good friend". Then a few days ago, he posted he was in Colorado and helping another "good friend". He is too busy to see me, and it would take an hour for him to come from his house to my house to visit. He was here last July to tell me he was very sick, and I helped him get his house ready so he and his wife could move. That's the last he has been to visit or to call me.

So I'm having a bad day today. Again in my mind I figure I'm the only constant in the equation. It is very difficult for someone with a kind heart to not have human contact. But like I said, I will survive.

AncientSoul

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Hope67

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Re: I'll survive
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2019, 05:49:58 PM »
Hi AncientSoul,
Just wanted to send you a compassionate hug, if that's ok  :hug:
I hope you feel better over time, but be kind to yourself, if you can. 
Hope  :)

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notalone

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Re: I'll survive
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2019, 05:56:45 PM »
I am sad that you are feeling so alone.  :hug:

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Boatsetsailrose

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Re: I'll survive
« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2019, 01:19:18 PM »
Hi ancient soul I hear you I really do..
And its more a reflection on them than u hey..
I'm realising more lately that I come from unempathic background and Ive magnitised for people of my life that are this too... I'm sitting here thinking where are the people who come from genuine care... There's the gushy Co dependent ones, the unempathic ones and there is middle ground hey...
One thing I've learnt a bit more is that I often don't express how I feel... Is this something u could do with your brother? Do u think it may get heard and appreciated?