A therapist would be very useful in this situation. He or she would be able to guide you through this in ways that would be helpful. It's next to impossible to heal from the past when it's being repeated in the present. It would be like trying to patch someone up while they're still in the middle of a boxing match.
You may find useful ideas and support at the Out of The Fog site,
https://outofthefog.website. (He sounds like he may be a narcissist or have narcissistic tendencies.) There is also a supportive forum there. Their sections describe what it's like to be in a relationship with an individual who suffers from a personality disorder, with helpful articles on Do's and Don'ts.
This brief YouTube video may have some ideas that might work when you are in a situation where you have to respond to your husband.
https://youtu.be/6TSh9zTHz2kYou say your husband
does not think CPTSD is real and I should just get over it because every one has a rough childhood.
CPTSD is not an illness, it is an injury. It is caused by our exposure to multiple traumatic events that are perpetrated on us by people we depend on and from which we feel there is no escape. It is not in how you think, and it is not in your imagination.
Finally, if you ever feel you're in danger,
http://www.hotpeachpages.net has lists of resources for people who are experiencing domestic abuse.
Please keep us updated, we care about you!