Thank you

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Gromit

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Thank you
« on: June 20, 2019, 01:43:32 PM »
For some bizarre reason the idea that I could unblock my father's email address and maybe even have a relationship with my parents entered my head today. I know ACOA speaks about wonderful changes happening in our family when we are in recovery but  ???

Luckily, instead of going on my desktop PC I used my iPad to come on here. I cannot unblock anyone this way. I read some of Blueberry's unsent letters.

Maybe this is progress? I no longer spend my time in the shower mulling over things which happened with my parents, years ago. I am trying hard to be more present because there is much out there in the news to frighten me at the moment. I have recently struggled with anxiety symptoms, totally unrelated to FOO so now that has passed I am feeling better, but no matter how healthy I am I am not sure I am healthy enough to withstand opening up past relationships.

Thank  you for reminding me what life has been like, there are good reasons I am NC/vlc and being NC is probably why my parents no longer live rent free in my head quite so much.
G


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sanmagic7

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Re: Thank you
« Reply #1 on: June 20, 2019, 02:53:01 PM »
congratulations, gromit!  honestly, that compulsion to want to reopen past relationships has diminished over time w/ me, altho i still struggle w/ it from time to time.   there are several relationships w/ both family and friends that i wish could get better, could work out, but honestly, knowing how much i've already put into those relationships, and what i got back in totality keeps me from reaching out and trying again.

i agree w/ you about staying present as much as possible.  there's enough going on now to deal with, very frightening and anxiety-producing, and we don't need the added stress of unhealthy relationships.  i think some of the wonderful changes can include our own newfound strength, self-esteem, value, and boundaries, all those things that help us to not allow abuse from others to be a regular part of our lives anymore.   if that's not what acoa is talking about, well, i'm just going to add it into the mix myself.

well done, sweetie.  i'm glad you made it here instead of somewhere else.  sending love and a hug full of 'rent-free'.

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Three Roses

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Re: Thank you
« Reply #2 on: June 20, 2019, 03:02:39 PM »
 :applause: good for you! You're making changes in your life that serve YOU well, instead of others. Well done, you! 🏆
« Last Edit: July 03, 2019, 07:34:32 PM by Three Roses »

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Boatsetsailrose

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Re: Thank you
« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2019, 06:25:27 PM »
Hi gromit... Thanks for sharing..
I hear you..
I'm just on step 9 and after 5 I had a thought maybe I could be in the same room as my m... This was a surprise as my anger was big b4 despite yrs of therapy...
For me I see it that when some of the resentment shifts and the spiritual experience commences there is growth and so I now have some further healing which has happened and space as you describe in my head. For me I'd be insane to start any communication with m and so it remains the same. Safety first. That what I love in recovery nothing needs to be rushed and time and sharing with others can show correct ways to proceed or not :)
Best wishes

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Kizzie

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Re: Thank you
« Reply #4 on: June 29, 2019, 06:49:44 PM »
 :thumbup:   Sounds like it's time to burn that "For rent" sign, well done!!