New Here, And New To The Concept

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Bach

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New Here, And New To The Concept
« on: June 20, 2019, 03:03:18 PM »
Hi, everyone.  I just found out about Complex PTSD as a result of reading I did following a highly traumatic event earlier this month.  I've been doing intensive psychotherapy for 20 years and it all came together.  I don't know where to start with trying to find support and a community.

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Three Roses

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Re: New Here, And New To The Concept
« Reply #1 on: June 20, 2019, 03:23:47 PM »
Hello and welcome to you, Bach! Although I'm sorry there's a reason for you to find us, I'm glad you are here.  :wave:

It certainly can be overwhelming, the amount of information here. Everyone's journey is different, and so is the way and the pace in which they heal. My style is to jump in head first and consume as much information I can. I tend to become hyperfocused and can read a book a day. Then I can go back to the bits that seemed to jump out at me.

Others are more careful, proceeding only as fast as they can while still retaining the info they're taking in.

Some people post a lot and some members never post, instead just reading the experiences of others.

There is no "right" way to proceed. Just take it at your own pace, and feel free to ask questions, pop into existing threads, or whatever you want. We are a supportive, welcoming and inclusive community. Again, welcome! Glad you're here.

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woodsgnome

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Re: New Here, And New To The Concept
« Reply #2 on: June 20, 2019, 04:49:51 PM »
This is a kind place you've found, Bach. The discussions, resources, and other materials found on OOTS can for sure point out several directions those of us who wander on here might consider as they encounter the maze-like route of living with cptsd.

Notice, I didn't say the answers are all to be found here. Sadly, my experience with this suggests that maybe this journey relies more on  living the questions than finding all the certified guaranteed answers. I've also learned to water down expectations of instantly finding a sure way forward (yet always hoping for that breakthrough).

I've felt to be on the edge of what seems like great forward leaps as well as close to angrily throwing in the towel and giving myself up as a lost cause. I try to keep in mind to balance expectations, if not discard them in favour of just being, not doing or feeling the need to perform a certain way. Will I find it? Still here, haven't given up.

A key part of that has been staying open to being surprised. Therapy has greatly assisted, and fortunately I finally came upon a therapist who's engagingly present, knowledgeable, and down-to-earth.That said, I welcome you to feel it out and go with the flow, per what suits your hopes and dreams. Sometimes the troubles can seem hopelessly stuck in place; and then, one looks around and finds they were in front of that other way all along.

Hopefully OOTS can help you locate the encouragement and support you need as you seek how to live those questions that haunt us all.
 
« Last Edit: June 20, 2019, 04:58:44 PM by woodsgnome »

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Kizzie

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Re: New Here, And New To The Concept
« Reply #3 on: June 20, 2019, 04:53:55 PM »
Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS Bach  :heythere:

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Tee

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Re: New Here, And New To The Concept
« Reply #4 on: June 20, 2019, 10:42:02 PM »
Welcome there's a lot here and so far everyone has been very supportive.  It's nice to know I'm not alone.   :grouphug:

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bluepalm

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Re: New Here, And New To The Concept
« Reply #5 on: June 20, 2019, 10:44:07 PM »
Hullo Bach, and a warm welcome. I'm a relatively new member and have found this OOTS forum community to be a true place of refuge. I'm happy for you that you've found this kind community and encourage you to explore. Sharing our lived experience of cptsd in the way this forum allows has been invaluable for me.
bluepalm

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notalone

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Re: New Here, And New To The Concept
« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2019, 05:28:14 AM »
Bach,
Welcome. Glad you have found this site. For me it is a place where I feel less alone because people here "get it."

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Bach

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Thank You for the replies!
« Reply #7 on: June 22, 2019, 03:31:10 PM »
Thank you for the replies!  I hope this forum will be a more viable environment for me than Facebook.  I joined some communities there, but Facebook in and of itself tends to make me anxious, so really that's going to be of limited help no matter what.  I used to comfortably use forums in this type of format for other interests back before it all got swallowed up by evil Facebook, so I'm glad to see this is an option.

I wanted to start a recovery journal but I got scared and freaked out just typing a title for it.  I'm particularly concerned about when and how to use trigger warnings.  I haven't ever been in a forum that required that, and the only other time I kept an online journal was a very long time ago before that was a "thing." 

I don't even know what I'll be able to write out.  It's terrifying to try to quantify it all that way.  Usually, I just stop.  Also, most of my abuse wasn't overt, and was centred around my being born resented and unwanted, so I still have a lot of confusion and angst and shame about what my part in all of it was or wasn't.
« Last Edit: June 22, 2019, 03:33:15 PM by Bach »

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Jdog

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Re: New Here, And New To The Concept
« Reply #8 on: June 22, 2019, 04:03:16 PM »
Bach-

First off, I love your screen name!  I am a huge classical music fan (and erstwhile performer of same).  Next off, I want to say that most of my abuse was covert as well -the result of not having been wanted by my father.  So, you are not alone here!

Welcome.

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Three Roses

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Re: New Here, And New To The Concept
« Reply #9 on: June 22, 2019, 04:40:41 PM »
 Our moderators are gentle and are also survivors of abuse, so they understand the need to talk about difficult subjects. Maya Angelou said, "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." This is a safe place to share your story. As long as you do it respectfully, you're going to be ok. 👍 It may be helpful if you read some journal entries of others so you get a feel for it.

Most of all, just know this is a welcoming, safe, respectful, inclusive forum and you are safe to post whatever you want to talk about.  :hug:

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Blueberry

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Re: New Here, And New To The Concept
« Reply #10 on: June 22, 2019, 06:06:11 PM »
Hello Bach  :heythere: and welcome to the forum!

Take your time with posting. Maybe you just need to read around in the forum for a little while until something inspires you to start writing? No rush, really. Healing from cptsd takes time, and it also often takes new members a little while to get accustomed to the forum and to overcome those sabotaging inner voices telling us we're not enough etc.

I often know what I want to write but when I try to do so, I can't. The time will come when it works.

As for Trigger Warnings, if you haven't already read the Guidelines, please do so https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=1616.0
It might seem quite a lot to digest all at once. Don't worry, if you get them a bit wrong at the beginning, Kizzie and I will alter them. They're just a protective measure so that other members don't get unduly triggered. If there's a TW and it's been a tough day, they can skip that post or that part of your post.

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Bach

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Re: New Here, And New To The Concept
« Reply #11 on: June 22, 2019, 10:00:28 PM »
Hello Bach  :heythere: and welcome to the forum!

Take your time with posting. Maybe you just need to read around in the forum for a little while until something inspires you to start writing? No rush, really. Healing from cptsd takes time, and it also often takes new members a little while to get accustomed to the forum and to overcome those sabotaging inner voices telling us we're not enough etc.

I often know what I want to write but when I try to do so, I can't. The time will come when it works.

As for Trigger Warnings, if you haven't already read the Guidelines, please do so https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=1616.0
It might seem quite a lot to digest all at once. Don't worry, if you get them a bit wrong at the beginning, Kizzie and I will alter them. They're just a protective measure so that other members don't get unduly triggered. If there's a TW and it's been a tough day, they can skip that post or that part of your post.

Hi!  I did read that, thank you, but I didn't see any guidance in there relating to trigger warnings.  I think the thing I don't quite understand is when to use a trigger warning, and what information I need to provide in one.  I'm not trying to be difficult, but I'm honestly not sure how to determine whether something will trigger others.

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notalone

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Re: Thank You for the replies!
« Reply #12 on: June 22, 2019, 10:31:43 PM »
I wanted to start a recovery journal but I got scared and freaked out just typing a title for it. 

The first few times that I posted something, I felt very anxious and removed the posts after a few seconds.  It does feel vulnerable and scary. Go at your own pace and comfort level.

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Blueberry

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Re: New Here, And New To The Concept
« Reply #13 on: June 23, 2019, 02:12:18 PM »
From the Guidelines:  Overly Graphic/Detailed Posts  - OOTS members are survivors of ongoing trauma and emotional/ physical/ sexual abuse. As such, detailed/graphic accounts of the trauma/abuse can trigger painful emotional flashbacks for other members.  Please be very mindful of this and refrain from graphic descriptions of your trauma/abuse, just include enough information to give members the idea.  If you are unsure of whether or not a post is overly graphic, include the words "Trigger Warning" and give the reason for the warning (e.g., sexual abuse, domestic violence), in the subject line of your post. Posts which go beyond what is necessary to describe your situation will be edited or removed.

It's actually difficult to predict what might be triggering for others. Don't worry too much about it in early days on the forum because we moderators add TWs as necessary. As you read around, you'll also see what kind of posts other people have put TWs on.

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Bach

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Re: New Here, And New To The Concept
« Reply #14 on: June 23, 2019, 03:13:53 PM »
From the Guidelines:  Overly Graphic/Detailed Posts  - OOTS members are survivors of ongoing trauma and emotional/ physical/ sexual abuse. As such, detailed/graphic accounts of the trauma/abuse can trigger painful emotional flashbacks for other members.  Please be very mindful of this and refrain from graphic descriptions of your trauma/abuse, just include enough information to give members the idea.  If you are unsure of whether or not a post is overly graphic, include the words "Trigger Warning" and give the reason for the warning (e.g., sexual abuse, domestic violence), in the subject line of your post. Posts which go beyond what is necessary to describe your situation will be edited or removed.

It's actually difficult to predict what might be triggering for others. Don't worry too much about it in early days on the forum because we moderators add TWs as necessary. As you read around, you'll also see what kind of posts other people have put TWs on.

Thank you very much for this response.  I think I understand, and I will do my best!