Introducing Myself

[slmattila]

Hello, Y'all.  I am new to this forum, having registered yesterday on my 61st birthday.

It was a pretty good day with perfect weather and I did a number of things to treat myself and celebrate.

But today I woke up feeling really defeated.  I am thinking that perhaps I need a bit of a break from all of the work I've been having to do just in order to survive -- Workers' Compensation Appeal, Disability Extension, Malpractice complaint against an incredibly incompetent psychiatrist who psychologically abused me instead of helped me, which thus far has not been resolved fairly at all, etc., etc.

Is there anyone else in this forum who came down with CPTSD late in life on account of cumulative work-related stress?  I did suffer from some child abuse but not enough to cause CPTSD, only some neuroses which I had long had successfully treated.

The symptoms of CPTSD were entirely new to me when I landed in the hospital on March 24th, 2018.  Recovery has been extremely slow, in large part because of the family abuse to which I've been subjected on account of no longer being able to work, abuse from a bank that discriminated against me on account of my illness, abuse from a few neighbors who have striven to get me evicted from my apartment, abuse from my employer, and abuse from the psychiatrist mentioned above.  In my experience, the illness itself generates new problems in one's life that one didn't have before.

On the other hand, there have indeed been some competent doctors and a psychiatrist who have helped me at least get Disability, at least, thus far, for about five months.  My much reduced financial circumstances are also, needless to say, a source of stress.  Thank God I do have a small amount of savings.

[Blueberry]

Welcome to the forum 

As BeHea1thy mentioned, there certainly are other members on here in your age group. There are also a number with adult-onset cptsd.

[Cory]

Is there anyone else in this forum who came down with CPTSD late in life on account of cumulative work-related stress?  I did suffer from some child abuse but not enough to cause CPTSD, only some neuroses which I had long had successfully treated.

Well, I know at least one other person — me.

Like you, there was ongoing trauma in my childhood, which, in my case, led to a lifetime of generalized anxiety and social phobia, but not CPTSD symptoms. The stage was set for me to be pushed into CPTSD by a work situation — a new supervisor who, for some reason, viewed me as her main competition and who has gone to great lengths to sideline, bully, belittle and humiliate me. I've been trapped with this incompetent, manipulative narcissist for three years now and it's been impossible (so far) for me to find a replacement job at 63 that comes close to matching my current salary.

Luckily, I found a good psychologist who rapidly diagnosed most of the problem — even though he was reluctant to use the term CPTSD. With time, lots of help, medication, meditation and long walks and exercise, I think I'm finally on the mend.

You're right about how the CPTSD can trigger other problems — both emotional and life altering in ways that are unexpected and often make little sense. For me it's been nightmares, imagined illnesses, constant hypervigilance and a marriage that is suffering.

On the positive side, after long talks with my psychologist and lots of study and reflection, I finally understand what's taken place and also where the forever-present generalized anxiety and social anxiety originated, which provides ammunition to defeat all of it. I wish I had known this 40 years ago, but better late than never. It's been a very rough three years of acute CPTSD, but I think I will emerge from it a better, stronger, more balanced (and much less neurotic) person than I was before. I honestly think you will too. From what you've written, you don't seem like the kind of person to give up. 

[slmattila]

Thanks so much to everyone who took the time to reply so promptly, especially Cory, whose CPTSD symptoms were also late-onset.

  I love this icon, because it so accurately represents what happened to me that let to my own breakdown -- one brick after another falling, falling, falling on top of me until I was crushed.  What is more the bricks fall relatively rapidly, which is also true to the circumstances that led to me breaking down as I did. 

I am a tenured professor who had sailed through the tenure-review process and had really been enjoying her job for nine years until she experienced the semester from * of the Spring of 2018 -- serving on three demanding committees, dealing with especially difficult students with precious little support from the administrations, etc., etc., etc.

[Three Roses]

Welcome to both you and Cory! 

[Tee]

Welcome

[Not Alone]

  Welcome.