Wk 4: Stage 1: Step 3: Activity 2 "Who's inspired you?"

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C.

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Wk 4: Stage 1: Step 3: Activity 2 "Who's inspired you?"
« on: March 22, 2015, 05:49:49 PM »
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2.   Who, if anyone, has inspired you to get help?

Re: Wk 4: Stage 1: Step 3: Activity 2 "Who's inspired you?"
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2015, 12:13:46 PM »
No one. I've done everything by myself. Not by choice, that's just how things turned out.
« Last Edit: March 23, 2015, 10:12:43 PM by schrödinger's cat »

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Kizzie

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Re: Wk 4: Stage 1: Step 3: Activity 2 "Who's inspired you?"
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2015, 09:55:09 PM »
For me, it's mainly the ghosts of my FOO that live with me that inspire me.  I want them out, gone or at least much smaller and quieter!  In trying to get rid of them they "inspire" me to keep going in recovery. 

There were so many people at OOTF that inspired me to keep going. They just seemed to have worked through the anger and pain and arrived at a place where they could be authentic and warm and kind, and I very much wanted to get to that same place.  I'm finding that I am also inspired daily by members here :bighug:

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bee

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Re: Wk 4: Stage 1: Step 3: Activity 2 "Who's inspired you?"
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2015, 08:54:42 PM »
My aunt. Not that she has any idea. She got out though. Left the state, was independent, self sufficient. The life she led proved that it was possible. She might have disapproved of my NC, we never spoke after I went NC, we weren't close, but she was my inspiration.

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C.

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Re: Wk 4: Stage 1: Step 3: Activity 2 "Who's inspired you?"
« Reply #4 on: March 25, 2015, 05:18:42 AM »
My Aunt.  She and my uncle have gone NC w/my father, LC w/me because I think it's just a reminder...but now I understand why...I suspect this will be something for me to look in to later in my recovery...

When I was a young adult/early early teen?, my aunt was very honest w/me about some horribly abusive things (all verbal/emotional) that she experienced by her mom.  And it was all covert, no one "believed" her stories.    When I was born, she took me under her wing when I was a child and later explained that she was trying to compensate for the inequality and toxicity of her FOO (undoubtedly observing my parents too).  Some of the few child pictures that I have where I look truly "attached" and content w/an adult are pics of me w/her.  So I understand that she's aware of her past, how it's affected her, and worked to develop her own supportive community.

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VeryFoggy

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Re: Wk 4: Stage 1: Step 3: Activity 2 "Who's inspired you?"
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2015, 10:33:30 PM »
Funny it was my aunt too, my Ndad's sister mainly, along with my paternal grandparents.  My aunt has told me all of my life that I used to be a sunny happy outgoing child and then I changed and she has always asked me what happened.  I did not know.  But this intrigued me.  Me?  Sunny?  Happy?  Outgoing?  I am a loner, serious, and introverted, with a few VERY close friends.  I know tons of people through my work but just never clicked with most of them. I wasn't close even after years of working together.

But the idea that I was different stuck in my head and she would bring it up from time to time.  Also my grandparents confided when I was older that they knew there was something wrong with my dad when he was a child but they did not do anything about it due to the social stigma in the lates 40's early 50's. And they regretted it.  I also remember how safe I felt with them compared to how unsafe I felt in my own home with my dad in particular.

Anyway I started therapy in my teens for various issues and have been doing so off and on ever since.  But it was not until last year I started figuring everything out and I am 57 years old. Everything came together last year after I realized I had been involved with a Narcissist all of my life.  Once I started studying, I found myself in the scapegoat and have been eagerly trying to heal ever since.  Finding out I have CPTSD was hard.  But just yesterday I decided to view it as a tool to help me know when I am not being treated well. Because that's the only time I am triggered.  So I am trying to see it as an asset. I like that better than being frightened of it.

And I would love to be sunny and happy, and I am inspired to keep going knowing I used to be.
« Last Edit: March 25, 2015, 10:57:53 PM by VeryFoggy »