How to send my anchor away?

[Tee]

This week has been really rough my son has been at camp.  My kids are my anchors.  My daughter more than my son but both help keep grounded in the present when I start getting sucked into my crap. Well my son comes home today. I'm so excited.

My daughter who's 6 goes to camp on Sunday.  I think she can feel my anxiety about this.  I have tried to be excited for her and tell her how much fun she is going to have.  I truly think she will.  She is out going and makes a new friend in two minutes at any play ground.  Once she is there she will have a blast and won't want to come home.  She however is super sensitive and knows I've missed my son this week and came in this morning saying she doesn't want to go to camp. 

With every fiber of my being I don't want her to go either I'm going to be a mess while she's gone. I know she will be having a great time there's no doubt in my mind. I can't hold her back because of my brain and crap.

She sees through my masks though and knows I have mixed emotions about her going.  How do I push my anchor away so she's excited to go instead of upset that I'm leaving her?

[Tee]

Struggling to understand why I'm having such a rough time.  Today...  This week has been rough.  I have had a low low week. My boy went to camp he was gone from Sunday to Friday.  He had a good time brought home pictures and stories of fun and friends. 

Today we spent together and celebrated his 11th birthday.  My stomach's in knots as I sit alone contemplating dropping my daughter off at camp tomorrow.  Why does this make it hard to breathe?  I know she will have fun just like my son. I will miss her but be ok.  Why is this so hard?

[Not Alone]

Tee, other than missing your daughter, do have any fear about her safety? When my kids were young (and even now) with my past, that was something that I had to contend with when they were away from me, especially overnight.

[Tee]

No I think she will be ok.  She is out going and I have taught her not to take crap from people.  It's a well vetted camp. With safety precautions. She had three counselors in her cabin when I dropped her off.  There ended up being one other friend from the church we attend in her cabin to which was a nice surprise.  Plus a junior helper (aka teenager she knows)  from there too which again nice surprise. 

It's just my mind goes to worse case senarios, and like I said she a major anchor for me.  But I can't hold her back from having fun a being a kid.  It's just hard

She will be great! And I will survive. I helped make her bed. And then she demanded I leave.

[Not Alone]

  You're being a good mom by bringing her to camp even though it is hard for you. Hang in there.

[Tee]

Thanks notalone.