Reaching out and saying Hello

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SodiumTT

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Reaching out and saying Hello
« on: June 30, 2019, 12:07:56 PM »
Hi everyone,

My name is Nate and I'd like to introduce myself.

I never know how to refer to my cPTSD, do I suffer from a condition, do I have an illness, anyway, like everyone here I have cPTSD add I hope you don't mind but I'd like to share my story.

My PTSD is complex for various reasons. I suffered various types of abuse and over a long period of time.

At the ages of 3, 7 and 9 I experienced sexual abuse from different people.

As a four year old I lived through the very aggressive and traumatic break up of my parents.

From 4 till 8 I lived in a very neglectful environment while struggling with behavioural problems associated to the sexual abuse.

From 8 until 16 I lived with my father and his wife. My step mother physically and emotionally abused me while my father physically and psychologically abused me.

At 16 I left home and if I'm honest, since then I have survived, often only just. I've struggled with drug and alcohol abuse for many years, which certainly added to my condition.

I'm 48 now and 4 years ago I was lucky enough to be referred to the Sue Lambert Trust. After 3 years of weekly sessions I'm quite a different person. I still suffer everyday from various physical, emotional and mental symptoms but I have been able to grow the confidence and self belief to function pretty well.

I think the biggest change has been that instead of living day to day, hour to hour, I'm now able to make plans, live week by week and month by month. I'm managing my relationship with alcohol and have no desire to go anywhere near drugs.

Anyway, thanks for listening or reading. I hope in joining this group I might be able to alleviate some of my loneliness.

Nate.

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Kizzie

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Re: Reaching out and saying Hello
« Reply #1 on: June 30, 2019, 04:05:28 PM »
Hi and a very warm welcome to OOTS Nate/SodiumTT   :heythere:  It sounds like the Trust you were able access has helped you a lot and are no longer in  survival mode, getting through each hour or day.  I know what it takes to get to this point, facing a lot of fear, hurt, pain, anger, loss ...... so  :applause:  Ongoing abuse/neglect really does impact us body & soul and we can't just get over it or leave it in the past as uninformed people would suggest :yes:

I personally think of myself as being injured rather than ill or having a disorder.  It puts the focus on what happened to us imo rather than on us as being mentally ill/disordered.

I think you will find this forum to be friendly and supportive and hope it helps to have a tribe of sorts who get what you're talking about  :grouphug:

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notalone

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Re: Reaching out and saying Hello
« Reply #2 on: June 30, 2019, 06:48:35 PM »
Hi Nate. Welcome to OOTS. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry for the abuse that you suffered.

I think the biggest change has been that instead of living day to day, hour to hour, I'm now able to make plans, live week by week and month by month. I'm managing my relationship with alcohol and have no desire to go anywhere near drugs.
That is huge.  :cheer: :cheer: Significant progress.
I have found this site to be a place where I feel understood and supported. I hope it is the same for you.

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Blueberry

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Re: Reaching out and saying Hello
« Reply #3 on: June 30, 2019, 06:52:21 PM »
Welcome to the forum!  :heythere:

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SodiumTT

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Re: Reaching out and saying Hello
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2019, 09:22:04 PM »
[quote author=Kizzie link=topic=12083.msg88345#msg88345 date

Hi Kizzie,

Thank you for taking the time to reply. 😃

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SodiumTT

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Re: Reaching out and saying Hello
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2019, 09:26:20 PM »

Hi Notalone, thank you for replying and the 'big up'  😃

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SodiumTT

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Re: Reaching out and saying Hello
« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2019, 09:27:53 PM »
Welcome to the forum!  :heythere:

Hi Blueberry,

Thank you for the welcome.

😃

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BeHea1thy

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Re: Reaching out and saying Hello
« Reply #7 on: July 01, 2019, 12:19:43 AM »
Hello SodiumTT,

I"m thrilled that you've found the help you needed to gain confidence, function and see life in a longer term perspective. Being able to survive the traumas of your early life is indeed an accomplishment. Some parts of your story are the same as mine.

Thanks for taking the time and deciding the risk was worth it to share yourself. I hope that you continue to find resources here which make life more enjoyable and meaningful.  :hug:

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Boatsetsailrose

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Re: Reaching out and saying Hello
« Reply #8 on: July 02, 2019, 07:34:45 PM »
Hi sodium.. Your a survivor and so glad your here.. This forum has been wonderful for me...
I am 9yrs clean and sober now.. Addiction can be common with cptsd.
I see myself as having a psychological injury