Jumping in

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St.ranger

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Jumping in
« on: July 05, 2019, 11:52:58 AM »
Hello people :)

I found this forum shortly after a visit (one of many over the years) to the local mental health team, where I heard C-PTSD being spoken by a professional for the first time.
I've always known of the details and intricacies of my complexities, because I have obsessed over them, sat with and sutured them, analysed them into oblivion, along with any grasp on "the self" I had.. and as a result, have strayed to professionals many times seeking external recognition and validation, any form of acknowledgement for the way I experience existence, in a hope that I can finally let go and move on.
Each time I've spoken to a professional, I have attempted to reframe the way I see my "nature" based on the latest theory that could explain how I function the way I do..  I lack a certain Anchorage in identity, and so BPD has also been recently mentioned.
There are so many ways to tell and retell a story, it's hard to define or prioritize one truth over another.

So, I guess that's where I am right now, attempting to find a voice that is my own, one that I'm not fearful of and that isn't sounding out echos of the past..
one that can connect me to others rather than isolating further me from them.

So people, I just want to say, thank you for existing, I'm sorry and I hope you're all gaining strength along your journey.

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Tee

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Re: Jumping in
« Reply #1 on: July 05, 2019, 11:59:17 AM »
Welcome there's a lot of good information and stories and support to find here.  I hope you find what your looking for on your journey.
 :grouphug:

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sanmagic7

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Re: Jumping in
« Reply #2 on: July 05, 2019, 01:12:10 PM »
welcome, stranger, so glad you found us.  hopefully, you'll find connection to the language spoken here, and can be your true self.  a lot of us have found the same frustration w/ the professionals in our lives.  sending you a compassionate hug  :hug:

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notalone

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Re: Jumping in
« Reply #3 on: July 05, 2019, 01:54:15 PM »
one that can connect me to others rather than isolating further me from them.
Welcome. I hope you find some connection here. I have found support and understanding at OOTS.

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Three Roses

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Re: Jumping in
« Reply #4 on: July 05, 2019, 02:49:10 PM »
Welcome! You may feel like a stranger elsewhere but here I think you'll find you fit right in. Lots of us describe the feeling of being somehow "other" - or "alien" - and have also described coming here as the first time they felt not alone, and understood. Thanks for joining, glad you're here.
 :heythere:
« Last Edit: July 06, 2019, 04:58:57 PM by Three Roses »

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Kizzie

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Re: Jumping in
« Reply #5 on: July 05, 2019, 04:58:51 PM »
 :yeahthat:  You have a tribe of sorts now Stranger, a place to belong and feel safe in saying what you need/want to so welcome!   :grouphug:

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RiverRabbit

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Re: Jumping in
« Reply #6 on: July 05, 2019, 05:34:57 PM »
Finding a point of grounding, from which to launch your sense of self is a challenge I also struggle with.

I don't feel I have a lot of advice... but a lot of commiseration.

I have found the music, art, and poetry sections on this site a great place to "flesh out" your ghosts.  And, surprisingly to me, validation can be found in these expressions.

Welcome to the forum.

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BeHea1thy

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Re: Jumping in
« Reply #7 on: July 06, 2019, 04:24:28 PM »
Dear Stranger,

Quote
attempting to find a voice that is my own, one that I'm not fearful of and that isn't sounding out echos of the past..
one that can connect me to others rather than isolating further me from them.

Thank you for jumping and taking the time to describe your self-awareness and help seeking journey. There are others here who have gone through similar things - myself included. It takes a lot of perseverance and motivation to continually ask, time and time again, getting one more morsel or one more enlightenment to propel you towards that point and place you want to be.

Right now, my current interest is in developing a coherent narrative, for myself mostly, so I can make up new metaphors, gain some control through "reframing", get some uninterrupted sleep and continue to find authentic people for connection.

You're on the right path, and in the right place here at the forum. I hope you stay, gathering together all the parts of your self and bringing them into harmony.


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Blueberry

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Re: Jumping in
« Reply #8 on: July 06, 2019, 05:48:45 PM »
Welcome to the forum St.ranger  :heythere:

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cynditk

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Re: Jumping in
« Reply #9 on: July 06, 2019, 07:18:45 PM »
welcome, glad you are here!  :cheer: