Wk 4: Stage 1: Step 3: Activity 5 "Write an affirmation about Recovery"

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C.

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Reminder:  In order to honor our group process we ask that only current members post and respond here.  Thank you.

Note:  Please know these topics and activities are meant to aid you in your heling.   They are simply suggestions.  Please feel free to do and respond to what works for you now. 

5.   Write an affirmation in your journal about your commitment to recover from child abuse.  It can be a poem, a letter to yourself, a statement of your goals or an unsent letter to your parents/abusers.  This can become a personal manifesto to which you can return for strength, inspiration and encouragement during the most difficult times of recovery.

« Last Edit: March 25, 2015, 12:23:41 AM by C. »

Still not sure what I'd write. I thought about this on and off for a while.

The thing is, I first noticed that I had CPTSD symptoms was when I was in my mid teens. Not that I had a name for them, but I knew this was something I had to fix. Last autumn I finally found out what it's all about, and now I've got a much better hope that I'll find a way of living with this and leading a full-ish life again. But there wasn't the One Big Ah-Hah Moment. It was gradual.

To me, it feels like I've always had CPTSD. Ever since I stopped being a child and started to see myself and the world more consciously, CPTSD has been a part of things. A character flaw, I thought at first. An inability to get things right. An overreaction. So, hm... maybe there's an affirmation after all, one that I want to tell all of us.

It's not our fault.

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C.

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I love your mantra Cat – “It’s not our fault.”  I will remember that phrase.

For me the realization that I needed to focus on Recovery came with my "breakdown" at work in 2012 that happened as a result of the "death" of my marriage.  At that time I thought of it simply as healing myself emotionally.  It's since joining OOTS and reading through this workbook that I'm coming to see myself as a Survivor of childhood abuse thus in a lifetime of "recovery" from the mental injury inflicted upon me.  Prior to that I just thought that I had irritating parents who I didn't want to be around much, but they loved me. 

I like the concept of our own personal “manifesto” here so I came up with a few sentences that seem to be my priority in recovery right now:

Recovery means honoring my experiences and my needs.  It gives life meaning again.  Some of my positive personality traits are a result of my trauma- I am sensitive, empathetic and honest.  It’s important to find and keep a pace unique to me.  I can trust myself.

I think I'll pinch a part of your manifesto, C. When I saw this: "I can trust myself", I stared at the sentence and thought: "Wow. Yes." Because that's it. That's also something I'm learning. I can trust myself. I would have been able to trust myself all along, but I was encouraged to believe that everyone else was in the right and that my own perceptions and feelings were wrong.

So thanks, C. I had a bit of a * day today, so this was a sunny spot in grey skies.

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C.

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Thank you Cat.  "I trust myself" - This is the opposite of our childhood messages.  My T has been saying it to me a lot lately, every week, "I trust that you will ......make the right decision for you/find the answer/etc."  It's been very healing and I know it's a form of re-parenting that I'm receiving and it makes me feel great.  Then I realized that I can use that phrase for myself.  And Bingo, yes, it's very empowering.  At the risk of sounding corny or hokey I truly believe it...Cat, I trust you to make the best decisions for yourself today, tomorrow and forever...

Thank you!  :hug: 

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C.

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 :hug: and group  :hug:

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Kizzie

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I love your affirmations Cat and C  :applause: 

What seems to be helping me most in recovery is the daily reinforcement here that I am not broken, I am injured and that being open and honest and as authentic as I can be contributes so much to healing.  So my affirmation is something along the lines of:

I am strong and patient and kind and many other positives I was not allowed to feel about myself.  I can reclaim my self and heal by striving to be open, honest,  authentic and compassionate with my self and others."

 :hug: all around!

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anosognosia

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I love "I can trust myself".

I also liked someone's affirmation from a while back "I'm a kinder, more sensitive and conscientious person because of my CPTSD".

My personal one is "I want to step into the light" (meaning I want to step out of the shadows of the abuse from my childhood).


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C.

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Beautiful.  I like metaphors and nature so the light one resonates for me too.  Even "I am in the light" or "I've stepped in to the light"...