Action/Achievement Journal

[Bach]

Borrowing this idea from Blueberry, I want to use this journal as a place to plan and recognise myself for my practical daily-life efforts, separate from the place where I need to thrash out all my mental turmoil.

[Tee]

  you can do it!

[Blueberry]

Borrowing this idea from Blueberry, I want to use this journal as a place to plan and recognise myself for my practical daily-life efforts, separate from the place where I need to thrash out all my mental turmoil.

Nice description of the two types of journals too 

[sanmagic7]

i think it's great that you're separating the two for you.  best with all your actions and achievements that are on the horizon.   

sending love and a hug filled w/ encouragement.

[Not Alone]

 

[Bach]

Tee, Blueberry, sanmagic7 and notalone, thank you for the support.  It really does help! 

Today I made a couple of business calls that I'd been putting off.  I also met my steps goal after two days of missing it.  I took all my supplements (I think?  I'm pretty sure.  I'll take a magnesium drink at bedtime just in case).  I started this journal.  I made some efforts towards doing some other constructive things that I wasn't able to complete, but that was for reasons that weren't really in my control, and I can attempt them again tomorrow. 

Oh, and of course therapy.  Therapy is really hard lately and is always an accomplishment.  Especially how I have been going at it.  I have not been allowing any of the increased turmoil of recent weeks to scare me.  I am tough, and I refuse to let feeling good about myself for that trigger me.

I have been wavering in self-care lately, today was not terrible in the eating department, and I bought junk food but did not binge, but I haven't been meditating every day, and doing that really helps me.  I have a nice TV show to watch with My Person now, but I promise myself here that I will meditate for at least a few minutes before I go to bed tonight.

[Tee]

Sounds like a productive day.

[Not Alone]

  Well done!

[Three Roses]

 

[sanmagic7]

sounds great all the way around.  i love how you are allowing yourself do-overs - i think those are important.  nice job!     love and hugs, bach

[Bach]

So much appreciation for the support, my friends 

I fell down hard on the self-care job today, so I came here to set some intentions for making tomorrow better. Here they are:

Will eat all meals and take all supplements in a timely manner
Will meditate in the morning and at bedtime
Will wash my hair
Will make responsible food choices.
Will not overmedicate.
Will draw or paint, at least something small, without worrying about whether it's good.
Will find at least one thing either in my room or in the attic that I can throw away.

I can do it...
.

[Three Roses]

You're inspiring me....

[Tee]

Good luck Bach you can do it!

[Bach]

This morning has been interesting.  I was feeling pretty relaxed and okay, fell into a discussion of anger and forgiveness in a Facebook post and felt good about my reasoned comments in that.  I'm working on learning how to make my point concisely without falling into emotional language or working too hard to "make a case".  Then I came here and looked at this list, said "Oh, that's a good, do-able list!" got up out of my chair to start on it, and proceeded to go make a bad choice.  Then I got angry at myself over the bad choice, and bullied myself into going to do the constructive things I had meant to do.  This is far from uncommon with me.  Quite often I need to motivate myself to do something positive by doing something negative first, and then "making up for it".  That's another thing to thrash out at some point, I guess, exactly what it is that gives me such difficulty with taking any kind of action unless motivated by someone else's need or my own self-disgust, but that's another "not today".  Today has to be all about getting back on track with self-care.

3R, I'm glad that I'm inspiring you!  It's encouraging, not in a weird pressured way of "Uh oh, now I have to fulfill expectations"  but in a healthy way of "Bach, you are okay and are worthy of care".  Thank you.  And thank you for the cheers and hugs, Tee    It's so nice to feel a little safe being visible.

[Bach]

I did okay with my list yesterday.  I did almost everything on it.  I'm counting having a small but indulgent dessert as a "responsible food choice", and considering throwing out a few receipts and scrubbing the toilet bowl to suffice for the tidying part even though what I meant to do was get rid of an actual thing.  I'm really having hoarder problems right now.  I was on the cusp of overmedicating, but I think I'll give myself a win on that one, too, since I managed to cut down from the day before.  The only thing I didn't do at all was draw or paint.  Still trying to overcome the internal block that stops me from doing that.

Today was rough but I've managed it.  I had another brutal therapy session this morning and at least raised the issue of my haircut problem.  I'm surprised and dismayed at how huge a deal the haircut thing turns out to be, but that's true of pretty much everything lately.  I never knew until recently just how much pain, fear and anxiety about how many things I've been sublimating with substitute problems like eating and drug issues.  I've done reasonably well with self-care today, and did have one big win this morning.  I was freaking out because of some very heavy thoughts I had from reading some threads here plus dreading therapy because yeah, it's good for me and I'm making progress but it is oh so painful, all seasoned with anxiety about needing a haircut and not having anyone safe to go to, and I almost allowed myself to leave the house without having eaten or taken my supplements.  I came to my senses in time, and managed to serve both the need to leave the house and the need to eat and take supplements by finding something I could bring with me and have in the car in between my morning appointments.  Way to fight against self-neglect!

Tomorrow's intentions:
Work out with strength trainer.
Continue with responsible self-care.
Deal with some mail and bills.
Put away the clothing I washed and folded last week.
Do something towards tackling the problem of finding a new person to cut my hair.  I don't really know what at the moment, but something.
Write to my pen-pal.

Man, I wish I could think of some things to put on this list that would feel important and meaningful!