Total validation

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Rainagain

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Total validation
« on: July 31, 2019, 10:51:43 PM »
Well,
Not sure if this helps anyone,but.....

Just had a report from the independent pensions consultant and he is firm that I should have had ill health retirement when I left my job with an injury they caused 3 years ago.

It's so amazing I cannot take it all in.

I was asked to take on a job, I said it was risky but they insisted.

It brought risk to the lives of myself and my family but they washed their hands of the fall out, that caused my breakdown.

Today's report is such validation, I've read it repeatedly, it is so accurate and I cant believe someone 'official' gets it.

Just, wow

It might get me a pension but even if it doesn't and I have to carry on living on fresh air it is such a wonderful validation of what went on.

I am so different now I have cptsd.

But it wasnt my fault, I was turned into this person by the vile actions of others.

Someone has come out fighting my corner, it is so unexpected

I just needed an honest compassionate voice amongst the cacophony shouting me down for so many years.

The report states that my Ill health began 8 years ago when my work put me at risk and just got worse over time.

I suppose cptsd is caused by others and I have an official report saying exactly that.

Validation, there it is.

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Blueberry

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Re: Total validation
« Reply #1 on: July 31, 2019, 11:08:13 PM »
Just had a report from the independent pensions consultant and he is firm that I should have had ill health retirement when I left my job with an injury they caused 3 years ago.
...

Today's report is such validation, I've read it repeatedly, it is so accurate and I cant believe someone 'official' gets it.

But it wasnt my fault, I was turned into this person by the vile actions of others.

Someone has come out fighting my corner, it is so unexpected

I just needed an honest compassionate voice amongst the cacophony shouting me down for so many years.

I suppose cptsd is caused by others and I have an official report saying exactly that.

Validation, there it is.

:cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
I think you've been waiting long for this?! But somebody finally understood :applause: :applause: :applause:

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notalone

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Re: Total validation
« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2019, 02:20:44 AM »
Glad you received that validation. That is a big.

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Rainagain

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Re: Total validation
« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2019, 09:20:50 AM »
It is unbelievable.

I just keep reading the report to make sure it actually says what I think it says, and it does.

Then I go back and check again, just in case I misunderstood.

Been accessing it so often my phone suggested putting a shortcut to it on the main screen, funny.

I hadn't understood how important being validated/believed/heard is until now.

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Three Roses

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Re: Total validation
« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2019, 12:47:26 PM »
 :applause: :applause: :applause:
Validation feels incredible, I'm glad you got this.

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Tee

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Re: Total validation
« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2019, 01:58:52 PM »
:applause: :applause: :applause:
Validation feels incredible, I'm glad you got this.
:yeahthat:
Congrats :hug:

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Kizzie

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Re: Total validation
« Reply #6 on: August 01, 2019, 08:11:12 PM »
:fireworks:

That is absolutely awesome news Rainagain!

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Rainagain

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Re: Total validation
« Reply #7 on: August 03, 2019, 01:20:37 AM »
Thank you all so much.

It's so important to be heard, finally someone listened and understood, someone impartial, someone my ex employer cannot dismiss.

They have a counter narrative where everything was my fault, I deserved the treatment I received. That is now such obvious manipulation and distortion.

I wonder if they will reduce the mud slinging, they wont want to but they might realise it just makes them look terrible. Because they are terrible people.

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Contessa

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Re: Total validation
« Reply #8 on: August 03, 2019, 03:17:46 AM »
:woohoo: :rundog:
Pretend the dog is facing the other way. Or, you're running faster

 ;D

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Rainagain

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Re: Total validation
« Reply #9 on: August 17, 2019, 03:15:43 AM »
Lol Contessa,

I'm sure your comment is clever and witty  but I have no idea what it means, I blame lack of sleep for my slowness.

My ex employer has managed to get my validating report changed and diluted. I was told a typo was going to be corrected but the final opinion was toned down at the employer's request when the report was reissued.

As you can imagine I have gone ballistic over it, completely triggered and wild, my reaction has shocked the report writing company I think, they can produce reports describing the traumatised but the reality of what it means seems to have escaped them up to now.

Welcome to my world.

I may well be over reacting, but that report meant a lot, and now my abusers have spoilt it.

The amount of anger I feel is like electricity, or like being drunk, not been this enraged for a long time. Going to be hard to come down from this level of rage.

I expected they would push back, I didn't expect I would get this worked up, like they can still shock me somehow even though I know exactly what they are like.

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Contessa

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Re: Total validation
« Reply #10 on: August 17, 2019, 09:28:25 PM »
Hi Rainagain

It unfortunately wasn't clever, it's just rare that we get the chance to use the fun emoji's. It was a joyous pressting of buttons.

I can feel my blood boiling to read what your employer has done. How on earth do they have that power? What is the point of an independent consultant if the company can change the facts to their satisfaction? These are rhetorical questions by the way.

The end point here is, will it affect your pension?

Do you have a copy of the original?

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Three Roses

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Re: Total validation
« Reply #11 on: August 17, 2019, 10:34:39 PM »
Quote
I may well be over reacting, but that report meant a lot, and now my abusers have spoilt it.

IMO you are not over reacting. Your reaction to having that validation yanked out from under you is normal and understandable. I have a visceral response to hearing this news.  :pissed: :pissed: :pissed:

Not only do I believe your anger is normal, I also believe it is warranted. I wish I could give you more tangible support than just saying "I'm standing with you", but I'm standing with you.
   :blowup:

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Blueberry

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Re: Total validation
« Reply #12 on: August 17, 2019, 10:39:38 PM »
Quote
I may well be over reacting, but that report meant a lot, and now my abusers have spoilt it.

IMO you are not over reacting. Your reaction to having that validation yanked out from under you is normal and understandable. ...  :pissed: :pissed: :pissed:

Not only do I believe your anger is normal, I also believe it is warranted. I wish I could give you more tangible support than just saying "I'm standing with you", but I'm standing with you.
   :blowup:

 :yeahthat:

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Jazzy

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Re: Total validation
« Reply #13 on: August 17, 2019, 11:36:35 PM »
Wow, that's shocking!  :aaauuugh: So sorry to hear it. If you can, keep a copy of both... it is good evidence of what they've been doing to you (and likely others). It shows how they manipulate everything.

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Kizzie

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Re: Total validation
« Reply #14 on: August 18, 2019, 03:50:41 PM »
Aw geez Rainagain, so sorry to hear this happened and I agree with everyone that of course you have a right to feel as angry as you do.  :yes:

I hope you have a copy of the original report as that may help take some action or at the very least reassure you you were indeed validated and it's the company doing the CYA blame the victim thing. Do you have any recourse now do you know?

Big big  :grouphug: