Psilocybin

[Kizzie]

Dolly, on the subject of how quickly the anxiety came on I did ask my GP to do some tests to see if there is any underlying inflammatory disease.  I told her about this link https://www.moleculeralabs.com/medication-is-not-working-for-anxiety which and she is running a few tests.  "In some people, symptoms associated with anxiety disorders, like irrational fears, irritability and excessive worrying, may be caused by an infection-triggered autoimmune encephalopathy, rather than a psychiatric illness."

I just did the lab work yesterday and will talk with her on Tues.  I'm almost hoping there will be something so I have an explanation (I like answers), but regardless we went through the gambit of SSRIs and I simply cannot take them anymore for whatever reason so am tapering off them altogether.

[dollyvee]

That's great they did that and it looks like it covers a wide gamut of bacterial and viral infections! Hopefully, it turns up something. Unfortunately, I don't think mold toxicity is something that most GPs test for or are really even aware of, but would be great if that changed.

If you're interested but will post it elsewhere as well:
https://www.courtneysnydermd.com/blog/mold-toxicity-depression-anxiety-fatigue-brain-fog-inattention

[dollyvee]

I really like what you've said about the protector part of you reacting differently Dolly, that is, that the hurt/pain will not cause you to unravel as it has in the past.  More of an "Oh" than "Run away!" response.

For me that is the belief I'm absolutely struggling with right now (I will unravel), and I know a few others here feel that way as well.  It's like OK we've done the work of not being so dissociative but now we are essentially naked against the fear, we have no shields in place for these things we came to believe would destroy us, cause us to fall apart.  What do we do now? The slow work of talk/somatic therapy or the quicker assisted learning that we will be OK, we can tolerate the pain, loss, etc., once we have access to all or more of ourselves instead of being caught in a tight little network of trauma?  I choose the latter.

I do think the promise of therapy assisted by psilocybin and other psychedelics like Ketamine and MDMA is that they give us that access we take so long to get through to with other therapies.  We can tap into other parts of our selves we couldn't get easily if at all at before, at least that's how what I've read seems to say.  I'm 66 and have been working away at therapy for about 10 years and just now find myself able to acknowledge the abyss I've been so terrified of my whole life.   My "What now?" question has left me looking at options like psychedelics so I'm reassured to read how you've reacted. The promise (my fervent hope) is that we can handle the abyss.

Just going over this thread and I only saw your post that came after this Kizzie.

I get the feeling that your describing I think and know that fear too I think. I wish I had an easy answer to give to help everyone. Like Bach mentioned as well, I think there's been a lot of stuff coming up the past week or so and I've been feeling the "old stuff and the residual fear"  but I have been able to calm it and take a step back, seeing that it's coming up from old thinking in my family (and the generations before) that I've taken on. I think perhaps the MD has helped with all of this but it is a process, and I also find myself going back to IFS which has been very helpful for me to connect to what's going on internally. To get a handle on it, I am trying to remind myself that I am an adult and not that kid anymore, but it's difficult sometimes.

I also wanted to recommend the documentary, Dosed from 2019 (?), about a functioning heroin addict in Vancouver who undergoes psilocybin and ibogaine to treat her addiction. They show the whole process of taking it and her experiences. I found it really interesting to watch. There's another one called Dosed 2 but I don't know if it's out yet.

Another couple interesting talks:

Psychedelic Therapy with Roland Griffiths, PhD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFoJYcoMaKo

MDMA Assisted Therapy with Michael Mithoefer
https://www.podcastaddict.com/episode/116096612

[dollyvee]

I listened to the MDMA talk last night with Michael Mithoefer and it was really fascinating. He spoke about how people undergoing a psychedelic experience (at a correct dosage) will 70% of the time spontaneously start parts work (IFS).

He also mentioned the work of Stanislav Grof and I had a chance to look him up. I read a bit of When The Impossible Happens: Adventures in Non-Ordinary Reality and it was also fascinating. He was doing guided LSD sessions (and heliotrophic breathing which I'd never heard of before) in the 60s/70s/80s and the results were very surprising. He discusses memories surfacing in LSD sessions that were passed down through the mother to the child, and then the patient reliving those. To me, it sounds really close to the genetic passing down that Mark Woylnn describes in his book, It doesn't Start With You, only this was before the science existed to prove (or had shown) that things experienced by the parents were showing up in subsequent generations.

I also came across this but have not had a chance to look at it yet:
Psychedelic Integration: Psychotherapy for Non-Ordinary States of Consciousness
https://synergeticpress.com/catalog/psychedelic-integration-psychotherapy-for-non-ordinary-states-of-consciousness/

[dollyvee]

Also not sure if this has been shared yet:

Psychedelics and Psychotherapy - The Healing Potential of Expanded States
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Psychedelics-and-Psychotherapy/Tim-Read/9781644113325