Trying to read

[Tee]

I bought one of Peter Walker's books.  Complex PTSD from surviving to thriving.

As I sat down to start to read it my brain literally started shutting off.  It got fuzzy and I couldn't keep reading. I got through the preface.

When I had my concussion I had this issue when I tried to school work but that was a while ago, and I've been able to read fine since then so I don't think this is related.

It's very frustrating when everything is not going well I'm struggling anyway to then have something as simple as being able to read taken away. It allows the ICr to scream see stupid waste...  guess some part of me isn't ready to read to this yet.

[Not Alone]

Tee,

I dissociated a lot when I slowly read that book. At some point I realized that I was pushing myself to finish it, but was not absorbing any of it. I quit and put it away for a few months. I later went back and started from the beginning (still with some dissociating).

[Bach]

It's so hard!  I've got both this, and The Body Keeps The Score, and I've managed to read a few pages of each, but dang, playing a relaxing puzzle game on my phone is so much easier and less upsetting.

[Tee]

See but I didn't even notice getting upset or triggered or anything.  My brain just literally started shutting off. Where I couldn't keep reading.

[Three Roses]

As I sat down to start to read it my brain literally started shutting off.  It got fuzzy and I couldn't keep reading.

This happens to me when the subject matter is deeply triggering. 

[Blueberry]

See but I didn't even notice getting upset or triggered or anything.  My brain just literally started shutting off. Where I couldn't keep reading.

This happens to me too, a lot. I now see it as a self-protective measure. Something in me protects me from feeling anything because 'simply' feeling is often way too much for me.

fwiw I haven't read "From Surviving to Thriving" from cover to cover. I dip in and re-read some bits multiple times. It's quite OK to go at your own pace. It took me weeks to get into that other book "The Body Keeps the Score" though I really wanted to start earlier but I just couldn't. It was probably too early. I don't remember any of it.

Your ICr is way, way, way off.

[Jazzy]

Yeah, I have that happen to me a lot too. I used to read 100+ pages a day, but now I can't get through 10.  I'm not too sure why.

Just take it at a pace you can handle. Maybe you could try an audio book? Lately that's been working better for me.

[Tee]

Thanks

[Ecowarrior888]

Go at your own pace. Those books talk about what you may be going through which could definitely be triggering.

To be honest, ive been wanting to purchase my body keeps score but i cant even get myself to walk around with that book or open it in the cafe and skim through it.

Do you recommend this book? i have pretty severe symptoms from my understanding:panic attacks, dissociation, flashbacks, etc.
Is it helpful to read?

[Tee]

I have read that one. I know my body keeps score so I skipped that one.  . I have flashbacks that I wakeup with bruise.  I need to get past this.