Surrounded and Alone!

[LearnToLoveTheRide]

I am desperately lonely...

Ryder and Kai hug me good morning and then swirl under my feet and around my legs as I make them caramel and toffee porridge in the kitchen. They eat it faster than it took me to make it.

Zee sits out on the porch with his tea trying to recover from another late night of teen texting. He has friends all around the world - a true 24/7 community that he's happy with and fits into well.

The house is clean - as always - and well stocked. We moved in a couple of days ago so there are a few boxes that could still do with unpacking. But, it's nothing urgent.

I smile and hold my children whenever I can. I tickle them until they're in hysterics. I make sure they get sunlight and plenty to eat. I settle them down at night, and lay with the little one until he is asleep.

We have everything we need. Except I don't!

We're not running from anything anymore. We're safe. Except I'm not!

There is an unfathomable void inside me. Everything just disappears into it...

LTLTR

[Tee]

 

[Three Roses]

We're here for you, LTLTR! Like Zee, you have a community here that loves and supports you, accepting you just like you are. 

You've had to hold it together while you took care of moving and all the peripheral issues that go along with that.

That void inside you - I know that feeling. You are a survivor, worthy of good friends, good things, and a healthy and happy life. Think of all the things you've overcome when the blackness threatens to swallow you up. Don't be afraid of the struggle - it means you're fighting. 

[Not Alone]

We're here for you, LTLTR! Like Zee, you have a community here that loves and supports you, accepting you just like you are. 

You've had to hold it together while you took care of moving and all the peripheral issues that go along with that.

That void inside you - I know that feeling. You are a survivor, worthy of good friends, good things, and a healthy and happy life. Think of all the things you've overcome when the blackness threatens to swallow you up. Don't be afraid of the struggle - it means you're fighting. 

Too tired to organize my thoughts, but agree with Three Roses.