I'm a bit nervous about starting a journal here, but I wonder if it might help me make sense of things. I've experienced multiple traumas, starting at a very young age. Some things I remember, some things are vague, some things I remember then forget again. I know there's more to remember, and a lot to work through.
=== Possible TW ===
Something new occurred to me today. My half-brother (HB) is older than me, and we have the same father, different mothers. I grew up knowing that HB's mother hated me. I knew that she had a history of violence, and that she'd made threats against me. I'd been warned at an early age how dangerous she was, and that if she saw me, she might attack me. But I now realise that I didn't know what she looked like, as I'd never seen a photo of her. To little me, this meant that everybody was a potential threat. I can see how this could have contributed to hyper-vigilence, as I had to stay alert in case I was attacked.