Snowdrop's journal

[Tee]

  that's nice

[Snowdrop]

Tee .

IFS journey.

The teen had stuff to unburden today. It was related to something else I posted on the forum today (about an illusion of choice) and it reminded the part of feeling trapped. We tried talking about it, but that didn't really help, so she tried venting her anger and frustration by smashing stuff up. It ended with her demolishing her old bedroom with a sledgehammer. After she'd smashed it into tiny pieces, I reassured her that she wasn't trapped, and it wouldn't happen again. I wouldn't let it. She unburdened and felt better for it.

The former firefighters are both doing well.

The part who's nurturing the pit wanted me to know that the pit is no longer a place where parts can get trapped. She said the river of life flows through the pit, and comes out the other side.

The retrieved exile also needed to release stuff around feeling trapped. She screamed into the sky, and unburdened a bit. We then went to the teen part, they held hands, looked up at the sky, and released jointly held burdens.

Afterwards, I took the retrieved exile back to her cave, and we sat and watched shooting stars together.

[sanmagic7]

i love the imagery of smashing that old bedroom to smithereens.  it must have felt very freeing.  feeling trapped is just a horrible thing to feel, whether it's physically, emotionally, mentally  . . . whichever way it makes itself known.  i've been going thru a lot of that lately - it's a terrible way to feel out of control over yourself and your life/being.

you're doing an awful lot of great work, snowdrop. (i feel the same way about the flower - hope against all odds).  much love and hugs filled with strength and perseverance to keep moving forward.

[Tee]

  I'm glad the teen was able to break free of her trap and release her anger.  Good job.

[Snowdrop]

Thank you San and Tee. Yes, it's good that the teen was able to let go of those feelings.

IFS journey.

I spent most of my time with the teen part today. She said she was feeling quite peaceful after yesterday, but she had a sinking feeling whenever she thought of the pit. It was as though part of her was left in there. Could we go and visit the pit?

We went to the part who has been tending and transforming the pit. The teen asked if the pit tenderer could take us into a little bit, so she did. The teen said again that it felt as though part of her was left in there, so I asked if it might literally be that one of her parts was in the pit? If so, maybe we could find her. [For anyone who's reading this, parts can have parts too, and it occurred to me that the teen might have her own exiled part.]

We quickly found a tiny part in part of the pit. She wasn't one of my parts, but belonged to the teen. I helped the teen connect with her and hold her, and the teen carried her out of the pit.

When we reached the top of the pit, I blew the tiny part into the teen's heart. The teen said she felt more complete and whole, and I did too. I told the teen to look after her tiny part, and she said she would. She said she'd nurture, protect and heal the tiny part.

After this, I visited the former firefighters, who are both well. I then went back to the pit tenderer, and she said she'd let me know if she encountered any other parts in the pit.

Finally, I went to see the retrieved exile. She was delighted that the teen had her tiny part back, and said she could feel the difference. She didn't have anything to unburden, so I told her how wonderful she was and gave her a big hug.

[owl25]

You are doing wonderful work, snowdrop. It is such a gift to yourself. 

[Tee]

  hugs snowdrop.  Hope you have a happy Thanksgiving in thankful for your friendship and encouragement

[Snowdrop]

Thank you, Owl. It takes time, but it's worth it.

Thank you, Tee, it's mutual. Happy Thanksgiving, my friend.

[Snowdrop]

Just a short IFS journey today.

The teen part told me she has been working with her tiny part, and how precious she is. She feels much more complete now, and is doing what she can to nurture the tiny part. I told the teen part how beautiful that is. Also, how she feels about the tiny part is how I feel about her. The teen part said that she gets it now.

All of the other parts are well. None of them needed me to witness anything, and they didn't have anything they needed to unburden.

[dollyvee]

You and your parts do such fun things together. How lovely it must've been to watch the shooting stars.

You've let your teen grow into her own person with love, what a good mother you are 

[Tee]

  glad your having a good day!

[Snowdrop]

Thank you, Dollyvee. It's not a mother-child type of relationship, but I'm glad that she's healing.

Tee

[sanmagic7]

you're an inspiration, snowdrop.  what wonderful work you're doing, finding parts, integrating them to where they belong, and making it a safe place for them to become more whole.  well done!     love and a hug filled with continuing courage

[dollyvee]

Ahhh fascinating...I'm interested in how this dynamic works. Maybe I projected based on my own n mom or usually you read how you should parent your inner child. I guess IFS changes that 

[Snowdrop]

Thank you, San. I appreciate what you've written, as always.

With IFS, Dollyvee, I've found that it's best to just focus on being my Self, and look for those Self qualities. It's the Self which enables parts to unburden and heal.

IFS journey.

The teen part is doing well with her tiny part. She seems more and more complete each time I see her. She says that the tiny part has been unburdening, and as she does so, the teen feels the benefit and so do I. I asked if the teen had anything she wanted me to witness and she didn't. She did, however, have a box full of old burdens that she thought she might as well get rid of, so we put them on a fire and they turned to smoke.

The former-SH firefighter is still running round shouting "awesome!"

The firefighter that made me dissociate us still interested in helping me focus. We talked about some times when this was useful.

The part tending the pit is doing well. She says she hasn't found any other parts in the pit, but she's asked some tiny hummingbirds to go and search for any, just in case.

The retrieved exile was pleased to see me. She shared some experiences with me, which I witnessed. At one point I became aware that I was dissociating, so I asked the dissociation firefighter if it was her. She said yes, she forgot, and stopped doing it.

After the retrieved exile had shared her experiences, I reassured and validated her, and she unburdened.

In my next journey, I think I need to show the retrieved exile to the dissociation part. If this part can see that the retrieved exile is healing, this will help her give up her dissociation role.