Snowdrop's journal

[Tee]

wow!  that's amazing work, snowdrop.  when those memories can lose their impact, that's a huge shift in your brain.  plus, all the energy work you did is a big deal, too.  i hope you can take some time for rest, let your brain and body process all this, integrate and jell fully.  what you're doing, how you keep pushing yourself can be great, but it can also be exhausting.  i know that part all too well.

and, forward!  love and hugs   

Big hug and lots of love and support

[Snowdrop]

Agreed, it definitely takes time for things to settle.   

[Snowdrop]

I've had a good few days. More releasing, more dissolving, and more integration. I'm feeling pretty good, and I haven't felt triggered by things that would normally trigger me. I haven't gone numb, I've been feeling appropriate emotions, and I've been feeling calmly in control.

[Three Roses]

Awesome! 

[sanmagic7]

that is so great, snowdrop!  well done   

sending love and a hug filled with continuing integration   

[Tee]

that is so great, snowdrop!  well done   

sending love and a hug filled with continuing integration   

Glad things are looking up.

[Jazzy]

That's great, good for you!

[Snowdrop]

Thanks everybody 

More good news. Went to an outdoor event in a town yesterday where there were crowds, and I enjoyed it. No apprehension beforehand, no looking for escape routes, no hyper-vigilence, no dissociation, and no going numb. There were also a couple of other things that would normally have triggered me, but they didn't.

[Blueberry]

      

[Tee]

  that's awesome snowdrop.

[sanmagic7]

wow!  look at you go!!!      so amazing, the work you're doing, and the results show it.  well done!     love and hugs, sweetie.   

[Snowdrop]

Thanks Blueberry, Tee and San. I do appreciate your support. 

I had a conversation today which would previously have been triggering, crashed through my boundaries, and made me leap into caretaking mode. My boundaries are intact, I'm keeping my distance, and I don't think I'm triggered.

There's an echo of past trauma resonating in me from the conversation, but it doesn't feel problematic as such. It's just slightly amplified, making it more noticeable. I'm viewing this as a signpost for what I should work on next. I will do some dissolving this evening to see if any of it will shift using that method.

[sanmagic7]

you are doing so much and so well.  i'm very happy for you in that you are dissolving so much that has been problematic for you before, and holding boundaries - quite an accomplishment!  love and hugs, sweetie.   

[Not Alone]

 

[woodsgnome]

Snowdrop wrote:

"There's an echo of past trauma resonating..." I experience echoes a lot ... and it's important to note -- they're echoes, and dissolving them, as you indicate, at least diminishes their immediate impact.

Your approach to dealing with this is inspiring. Keep it up!