Introductory post

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prose

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Introductory post
« on: August 06, 2019, 01:29:05 AM »
This is my first post. I have no idea if this is the correct way to begin. I have technophobic issues that are accompanying this first attempt, anxiety rising as I can't figure out how the mechanics of this site work...I keep going in circles re-reading the new members thing and not seeing how to jump in....it seems complicated, overwhelming. You get the picture.

I started this tonight because I'm feeling emotional flashback and abandonment stuff.
My 65th birthday was this weekend. I dreamt I was flying last night and haven't done that in years.

I developed CPTSD in childhood. Was abusively parented by a psychopath (F) and a narcissist (M).
I have done a great deal of recovery work but am still finding it difficult to make friends. I feel most painfully isolated and the old loneliness is up today.

I have a therapist who has helped me immensely over the past eight years. I just walked for an hour and went swimming in a beautiful lake.

Prose

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Tee

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Re: Introductory post
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2019, 01:40:12 AM »
 :hug: welcome prose you introduce yourself great.  Sorry you feel so overwhelmed.  There's a lot here take your time. And to at your own pace. :hug:
« Last Edit: August 06, 2019, 01:54:42 AM by Tee »

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notalone

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Re: Introductory post
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2019, 01:51:03 AM »
Prose,

Your walk and swim sound lovely.

So glad you have the support of a therapist. My feelings of loneliness have been helped some by the compassion and understanding of others on this site.

You did great on your introduction. Welcome.  :heythere:

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prose

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Re: Introductory post
« Reply #3 on: August 06, 2019, 02:45:03 AM »
Thank you.
Both.
I plummeted today. Mostly I'm doing pretty well.

My best friend moved away out of the country in March.
My relationship with my therapist has changed to more of an external support.
At 'peak FB' times it seems important to reach out.

I recently left husband and son, sold my house and am living in senior housing. I'm often still not clear about how they were abusive to me. It was 'so much better than what I grew up with'. Part of me is still in shock, but the awareness that my life is better now is beginning to dawn. Moments like today make me doubt it.

Thank you for responses. It takes some of the pressure off.

Prose


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Tee

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Re: Introductory post
« Reply #4 on: August 06, 2019, 02:48:13 AM »
Baby steps the are a lot of welcoming people here to show support. Glad that you found us sorry your having a rough night.

I hope tomorrow will be better. Comforting hug if you want it. :hug:

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prose

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Re: Introductory post
« Reply #5 on: August 06, 2019, 03:21:05 AM »
TY

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Three Roses

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Re: Introductory post
« Reply #6 on: August 06, 2019, 04:11:26 AM »
Welcome! Sorry you need a forum like this, as it means you've been treated badly, but I'm glad you're here.  :hug:

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Snowdrop

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Re: Introductory post
« Reply #7 on: August 06, 2019, 04:23:23 AM »
Hi prose, and welcome!  :wave:

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woodsgnome

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Re: Introductory post
« Reply #8 on: August 06, 2019, 07:01:15 AM »
 :) Hey, Prose, glad you've made it here. It can, indeed, seem rather overwhelming at first, but hopefully you'll get the hang of it shortly, and ask for help when things are a tad confusing.

You mentioned it sometimes feels as if your experience with cptsd has been like one huge shock. I agree, :yes:, and it's very isolating to live that way; I often compare it to being like living in an iceberg or in a bubble, where the outside world is truly not the one I'm in.

Hope your time on here proves of benefit.
« Last Edit: August 06, 2019, 07:05:35 AM by woodsgnome »

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Boatsetsailrose

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Re: Introductory post
« Reply #9 on: August 06, 2019, 10:13:34 PM »
Hi prose,
So glad u are here..
This forum has given and continues to give me safe support, resources and comfort.
I hear you on the tech stuff... We do are best hey..
Yes the relational healing takes more I find and I'm learning to be my own friend.. Live in hope of more connection.
The lake sounds so lovely... Nature is such a wonderful Healer

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Jazzy

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Re: Introductory post
« Reply #10 on: August 07, 2019, 12:30:40 AM »
Hi prose; happy birthday!

You're off to a good start in the "welcome" section. Hopefully the website gets less confusing the more you visit it. There are a lot of great people here.

I struggle with loneliness too. I'm not sure why, but sometimes it bothers me a lot, and sometimes not so much. It can be really tough when you miss those who have been abusive. Hopefully the people who are around now treat you better and it will clear up.

Sounds like you've been through some big changes recently. Hopefully things smooth out for you soon, and you find some people to share time with in your new housing.  Take care.