What do you do when your managers and supervisors are gaslighting?

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Ecowarrior888

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I am being bullied...They are claiming I am 50% of the problem within my team's dynamic. That I am affecting others' working relationship with their supervisors and affecting their work environment. When I know this is not the case. All of my coworkers are feeling the same oppression and frustrations that I am. I know because I help calm them down. But somehow I am the cause of all this when I am the one with the least amount of power (in title) within the team. What do I do? I don't want to leave my team, I love the animals I work to care for. I don't want to leave my workplace because if I do, this means I would have to leave my home and move away. My family is here. My dying "Magnolia" is here. My husband is here (he would move with me but I don't want to uproot him). My friends are here. My industry is small. Do you guys have any advice?

I have declared harassment. I have joined the Union. I am trying to lay low, but they keep going after me. This is all so triggering....
Help? :(

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Tee

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Re: What do you do when your managers and supervisors are gaslighting?
« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2019, 03:18:34 PM »
 :hug: I'm not sure besides going through the proper channels and seeing if any of your team will back you up. :hug:

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Snowdrop

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Re: What do you do when your managers and supervisors are gaslighting?
« Reply #2 on: August 16, 2019, 03:42:28 PM »
Workplace bullying and harassment is nasty, particularly if you have cptsd. I've been through it, and I can relate to your words  :hug:.

It's great that you've joined the Union. Have you talked to them about what you're experiencing? They may well be able to help you. The other thing I suggest is keeping a diary. Write down all incidents, including dates and times.

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notalone

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Re: What do you do when your managers and supervisors are gaslighting?
« Reply #3 on: August 16, 2019, 05:52:26 PM »
. The other thing I suggest is keeping a diary. Write down all incidents, including dates and times.
:yeahthat:

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Jazzy

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Re: What do you do when your managers and supervisors are gaslighting?
« Reply #4 on: August 16, 2019, 11:55:08 PM »
I don't have any good answers for you. I was given a large-ish settlement to go away. I do sincerely hope you work this out though, and sending my encouragement to help you stay strong in the interim.

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Rainagain

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Re: What do you do when your managers and supervisors are gaslighting?
« Reply #5 on: August 17, 2019, 02:12:00 AM »
It might help to get some legal advice.

Maybe the union can provide this, maybe a charity such as citizens advice bureau in UK.

Also, be careful about speaking up in defence of colleagues, that can make you a target of managers and colleagues may not be willing to help you In return.

The next time you are accused of undermining the team dynamic ask the manager to help you by sending you on a communications course or something and make a note of this suggestion. If they dont try to engage with the problem they can apparently see but you are offering to work at it then you are acting responsibly and they are not.

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Ecowarrior888

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Re: What do you do when your managers and supervisors are gaslighting?
« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2019, 03:21:32 AM »
Thank you everyone for your advice. I will take note of it and try my hardest. But yeah I've been so triggered, I don't know how to cope while I am over there. Thankfully my team is backing me up but its' just so much drama :( Trying to lay low.  And if I am fighting any battles, its' just for me or for the welfare of the animals.