Crazy Nightmare

[Phoebes]

*There may be triggers*

I don't often have nightmares, but when I do, they wear me out. Last night, I think the impending probability of running in to my Nm and EnSD soon had me nightmaring...

I was chasing after a friend who was climbing to the top of the stairs in the state capital rotunda to jump. I was trying to prevent them from doing that, and when I reached the top level, it appeared they had climbed through a high window at the top. I crawled through there and had to drop down in what was an apartment of sorts.

When I dropped into the apartment I realized it was Nm and En SD's house. Just as I was about to leave, they came through the door and halted in alarm at seeing me having "broken in" to their home. We started talking and they were questioning my NC decision and gaslighting me. I was trying to do grey rock, respond appropriately, and hold my ground, but they started yelling, crying and getting violent. I said to him, "if you knew the truth you wouldn't be acting this way" and to her "you KNOW the truth" but you keep lying!

It wasn't all that unrealistic of a dream. After I left, I was traveling by bus to mexico as passed 3 big fires that I stopped and called 911. My niece was much younger and with me, and she kept trying to run into the fired and wouldn't listen to me yelling for her to stop and come back to the car.

Once I was in mexico, it just turned weird and not traumatic..but I was in a crowded little cantina and the lady sold me a big bucket of tequila. That's par for the course..

[Not Alone]

No wonder you woke up feeling worn out.

[Kizzie]

    That really was quite the dream! 

I'm not sure about this but maybe the fact that it was so clearly about your trauma means you are readier than you were in the past to face it?