Confusion

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clay1719

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Confusion
« on: August 25, 2019, 05:26:33 PM »
Confusion

 Hello all,

 Iíve found myself in another strange situation, but then most about life is confusing to me right now, and Iím not sure if I have the stamina to deal with it right now. Once again lifeís little problems have created a storm within my mind. Itís one that Iíve learned to understand but itís also a hard feeling to deal with. What set this off is probably what most would call a normal life. On Wednesday, I finally got up the nerve to go to the place where I wanted to work and talked to someone. They told me to turn in an application on line and to come see them when it was completed. I did as instructed and had an interview the next day where I was told that pending a background check, Iíd be hired.

 That night, I got a call from the corporate HR where they said they wanted to move with my application and to wait a couple of days before I looked for other work. I found that to be  a pretty positive statement and at last like my wife, I began to believe that this job was in the bag. Then yesterday, I get an email from the recruitment office saying that theyíd decided to choose someone else. So in three days, Iíve been told three completely different things and I canít find out which one is correct until Monday.

 Needless to say, this sent my emotions onto high gear as my wife tried to talk me down. She believes that itís simply one department within the company not communicating with another, but Iíve become a pretty pessimistic person over the last few months and canít believe that something good will come from this. I think I fear rejection and disappointment more than anything and so I refuse to believe something good will happen until it does, just to protect myself from those two things. So this weekend, my minds protection mode has once again kicked into high gear, leaving me a bit of a basket case. I know itís just life, and that I just havenít yet become strong enough since my more recent tragedy to deal with it, but Iím getting closer every day.

 On the upside, I did see my therapist during all of this. She described her treatment plan to me that will include EMDR therapy for my complex PTSD. We have to have a couple more sessions first to understand what all needs to be worked on or rather, what traumas in my life are creating my symptoms all the way back to childhood. Iíll be learning techniques for calming along the way and was told that I need to be really gentle to myself in the weeks before these treatments because theyíre described as emotionally hard and she told me Iíll need all the mental strength that I can muster when we start them.

 I look forward to those treatments so that I can begin to soothe my mind thatís apparently been dealing with PTSD since early childhood. I look forward to the calmer me emerging. One that can face lifeís little problems without freaking out. A person who simply finds strength in peace. Perhaps these treatments are the road map to the peace that I seek. Iím not sure. Only time will tell, I guess.

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Tee

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Re: Confusion
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2019, 08:58:20 PM »
I totally get the frustration with the job.  I was told to wait till Friday to follow up with HR if I hadn't heard anything.  So I did.  But they hadn't heard either.  So I sent an email to the hiring manager.  I guess that was too pushy or something cause the next thing I heard was from HR with the we regret to inform you. Letter.  I can't deal life anymore I'm not sure where to go from here.  Good luck  I feel for you. Stuck in the hurricane of overwhelming emotions. :fallingbricks:

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Three Roses

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Re: Confusion
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2019, 10:21:58 PM »
Sorry to hear about the confusion about the job, clay1719. Hopefully this will get straightened out in your favor soon.  :thumbup:

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notalone

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Re: Confusion
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2019, 10:31:29 PM »
I can't speak to what is "normal," but it seems that looking for and getting a new job is stressful for anyone. The confusing information that you receive would certainly add to that. Understand your anxiety. Do what you can to bring gentleness to yourself.

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Kizzie

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Re: Confusion
« Reply #4 on: August 26, 2019, 04:12:39 PM »
Wishing you the peace you seek Clay  :grouphug: