New here

[Sunny49]

I am new here. I have been working on connecting with the emotions related to the trauma I went through as a child. I am struggling with the anger, the betrayal of the other parent, the lack of protection and more. I'm sad that my childhood was stolen from me. I'm exhausted from trying to cope with my feelings. It's incredibly intense.

[Three Roses]

Welcome! There's a ton of info and resources here, but what I've found most valuable is belonging to a community of people who are like me, who "get it". The helpful and supportive comments are unlike anything I've heard before. Thanks for joining! 

[Jazzy]

Hi Sunn49; welcome to the site!

I'm sorry to hear your childhood was stolen from you. It is very intense dealing with all the emotions involved with trauma, but it is a good goal to have. I hope you find some peace, and your recovery journey goes well.

Take care!

[woodsgnome]

Greetings, Sunny49 

This is a wide-ranging site/forum with lots of areas to roam around in, some general and some more specific. Having touched bottom, it's good to have an outlet like this as one begins to climb out and create new perspectives for the road ahead.

Hope your time here can put some meaning back towards creating a path leading to a better life.

[Sunny49]

Thank you to each who have replied to my post.

I am honored that you took the time to respond. Right now I'm so incredibly selfish- most of my life is revolving around how I am doing with this stuff. I have had a headache for 5 months (doctors are slower than molasses) and it doesn't let me keep my walls up that had allowed me to shut off my thoughts and feelings. Now that I can't stuff it all, I am finding out how angry and sad I am.

My counselor is letting me email him as often as I want. He is struggling to keep up with me. That's fine- part of the deal we made is understanding that he can't respond to everything in the emails. It is hard to do anything but process this stuff because the pain gets really bad if I don't discharge the stress.

I was starting to make bad decisions because of all the stuff surfacing. Thankfully, he told me that he hopes that I will soon start making better decisions because that kinda woke me up.

But I am having to get tested for STD's as a result of some poor choices. And I am very susceptible to 2 side effects of medications so the Dr is sending me to an infectious disease Dr to get the prescription. It may just be a UTI or yeast infection but we are waiting on the test results for the other possibilities.

It wasn't a good idea to listen to flattery when I felt unlovable and in a lot of pain.

I am working on understanding myself and making sure that I learn how to make myself safe (beyond condoms) when I feel vulnerable.

It's time for me to get started on my day. I feel better equipped for having posted...

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS Sunny    I know that feeling of selfishness for focusing on yourself too.  Nowadays I try to remind myself I'm just making up for all the years I didn't, that I owe this to myself 

[Snowdrop]

Hi Sunny49! 

[Blueberry]

Welcome to the forum, sunny49 

[Not Alone]

Welcome.