DID telling others

[Not Alone]

For those of you with DID (dissociative identity disorder), have you told others; family, friends? If so, please share whatever you are comfortable telling about that experience. My T has brought up the possibility of telling my H and maybe even my children (in their 20's) about my DID. I also wonder about telling some close friends. If I decide to disclose, I would probably do it in a session. Looking for advice.

[Jazzy]

Well, I haven't dared talk to my psychiatrist about it, so I don't have an official diagnosis... but I'm quite sure I live with DID. The only person I ever told was my at-the-time-wife. In my opinion, she was pretty dismissive of it, even though I clearly exhibit two different personalities with different names, behaviours, ways of speaking etc. People have made comments about how different I am sometimes, but that's as far as anyone has gone.

I wish I had something more positive to share, but I don't, so I can only say that I hope it goes better for you. As for advice, I would say to have someone who will back you up, because people tend to automatically minimize stuff like this. If you can do it with your T present, that would be great (not 100% sure if that's what you mean by "in a session").

I'd also say to give some real thought as to what it means to you to live with DID, how it effects you, and how you expect others to treat you. If they don't just refuse it, they will likely be confused and not sure how to deal with it/you.

All the best; take care!

[Tee]

I told my husband in session with the help of my T.  My kids are still young and I believe my D could tell the difference she didn't completely understand.

It did help my husband make sense of things.  He said it filled in hopes as to why I didn't remember things we had done together.  And thing like that.  I think it was helpful. 

I actually told my best friend before my husband.  She was very understanding and it was nice having a someone who really knew me.

Hugs good luck.

[Not Alone]

Jazzy,
Thank you for your reply. Yes, by "session" I mean therapy.

I'd also say to give some real thought as to what it means to you to live with DID, how it effects you, and how you expect others to treat you. If they don't just refuse it, they will likely be confused and not sure how to deal with it/you.

Good things to think about. If I do tell friends or family, I would do it with my therapist, who has a very good, non-judgmental way of explaining things, so I don't think anyone would dismiss the DID, although that is always a possibility. I picture some asking how they can support me, so it would be good to be able to verbalize that as much as I am able. Jazzy, appreciate your thoughtful response.

Tee, thank you for sharing. I have one person (other than T) who knows about the DID. Yes, it is nice to have someone who really knows me.

Maybe something else to consider: the reasons for telling friends, H, and children vary. Lots to consider.

[Tee]

  it's a lot to consider good luck.

[Not Alone]

Tomorrow morning three of my friends are coming to my therapy session for me (and therapist) to disclose that I have DID. I am really shaky inside. I have shared some details of my abuse with them. Sharing about DID is a different kind of vulnerability.

[MoonBeam]

NotAlone. I really admire your bravery. It totally makes sense you are feeling anxious and unsure. It's scary letting others see these parts of us. For me, the anticipation and story I tell myself about all the things that could go wrong are never in alignment with how it actually goes and usually the most agonizing part. It's the fear I hold.

I'm so glad you have loving support IRL. I hope you have an empowering session and receive lots of support and understanding.  I'll be thinking of you tomorrow 

[Snowdrop]

I hope it went well, notalone, been thinking of you. I truly admire your bravery.

[Three Roses]

Yes, hope it went well. It's great you have friends who are supportive!

[Not Alone]

MoonBeam, Snowdrop, Three Roses:

Thank you for responding and for your well wishes. The session did go well. My friends didn't seem freaked out. One specifically said, "I'm not going anywhere," which was helpful and heartwarming to hear. They asked how they can support me. I said that when I text them, "I'm having a hard time. . ." now I can be more specific and say, for example, "Hope is having a hard time because. . ." Then (if they are comfortable with it) they could address Hope or whoever directly. Therapist explained that they are little and to treat them as such. I also told them that sometimes the Littles just get lonely and want to talk to someone.

Later that day, Hope texted them. Basically, she told them that I wouldn't let her be out at the meeting. Then she told them that we just got back from the grocery store and the she helped shop so we brought home a lot of good things. Two of the ladies responded to Hope.

I have a little bit of "maybe I said too much" hangover. It isn't big, and I'm trying not to give it fuel by giving it too much thought. I don't have a time machine, so not helpful to ponder and question what I said.

I am blessed to have a handful of friends who know and support me as I deal with CSA. And now I have three more friends (added to one friend who I've known for over 35 years and Therapist) who know about the Littles (DID). I am also blessed to have all of you who are walking difficult, painful journeys to talk to and from whom to receive encouragement and support. Thank you. 

[Snowdrop]

 

I'm delighted it went so well. Your friends sound wonderful. My heart feels warm to think of Hope being able to text them.

[Three Roses]

Your friends sound just lovely.    to them!

[Tee]

  I'm glad it went well I hope that it they are helpful to you. I told several close friends too.  Ended up with really only have two that I could count on.  It's a lot to wrap your head around.  I hope all three stay by your side.

[Three Roses]

Hey notalone, I just want to mention a show on Hulu I just finished watching called "Many Sides Of Jane" about a young woman diagnosed with DID. There are six episodes. The show starts with a trigger warning. In the last episode she undergoes a brain scan and a younger, emotional part comes out and also has a brain scan. The two scans were very different. I don't have DID but if I did I would've felt validated and encouraged by this six episode docuseries and so I thought I'd mention it here. Best wishes to you all. ☺️

[Not Alone]

Three Roses,
Thanks for mentioning that. I don't have Hulu so I can't watch it (might be too triggering anyway). I was wondering if the scan was based on reality. Found the following on internet.

"Over the last decade, there has been more brain imaging studies done to better understand DID and see how it looks in the brain. The tests carried out so far, though typically small samples, do indicate that there are differences in the brain (e.g. regional cerebral blood flow) of someone with DID and without DID and that even simulated DID (for the purposes of testing) looks different than what real DID looks like. In addition, parts show up distinctly from one another on a fmri scan (see episode 6 from The Many Sides of Jane, on A&E, for the most recent example of this)."
https://www.elephantjournal.com/2019/03/living-with-and-learning-about-dissociative-identity-disorder-journey-of-healing/