Flashback?

[ophidian]

Background: Last week was good, but intense. It was one of those times where you feel like you're turning a corner into a new level of recovery. I feel like I'm finally ready to start really addressing my trauma in therapy, but I'm struggling with feeling like a fraud.

Well, yesterday I got an email from a coworker with feedback on a project I've been working on for some time. It was a lot of critique, but constructive. I read it, and flew into what I'm guessing may have been some kind of flashback. I was trying to explain to my SO how I felt, and if I recall correctly I was saying things like "I hate them" and "if they don't want to pay attention to what I'm doing when it counts then why do they get to tear what I'm doing apart when they decide to notice me - it's not fair". Really petulant stuff, in other words. I felt like I had been replaced by an 8 year old having a tantrum. I've had plenty of experiences like that before but I guess this time I felt a little more aware of what might be happening.

I still don't really understand why I was so triggered because it doesn't make any sense to my rational adult brain. I really want to understand my triggers and flashbacks more, because in the past I've just felt crazy and been really mean to myself for having them.

[Not Alone]

I still don't really understand why I was so triggered because it doesn't make any sense to my rational adult brain. I really want to understand my triggers and flashbacks more, because in the past I've just felt crazy and been really mean to myself for having them.

I sure understand "just felt crazy." I know I have felt even more crazy when the flashback is all intense feelings without a specific memory attached. Knowing it is a flashback can be helpful. Try to be kind to yourself.

[Three Roses]

Flashbacks are the most troublesome issue for me in dealing with cptsd. At least now I know what they are, where before I only felt crazy and incapable of handling my moods.

Since discovering that I have cptsd and learning how to recognize EFs, they're more manageable than they've ever been before.

Here's a link to Pete Walker's website on dealing with EFs -

http://pete-walker.com/flashbackManagement.htm

Kind of long, but worth familiarizing yourself with this info. Scroll down for his recommended 13 steps to handle EFs. You're not alone! Thanks for posting this, best wishes to you.