Therapy regrets

[Dyess]

Has anyone ever had regrets about going to counseling? Opening yourself up to some stranger?

[Anamiame]

Yep.  Even 12 years later.  But the regrets were more fear/shame based because therapy is hard and makes you vulnerable.  Took 12 years of superficiality before I could actually trust. 

But then again, I'm a stubborn ol' cuss...

[wingnut]

I don't regret hit as ive learned so much.
I regret my resistance as it takes me forever to let go and see what I'm doing.

[Dyess]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. I've been doing so much reading and research myself and recently my counselor said she wanted me to look into Mindfull Self. I first forgot what she asked me what to look up. My memory is so bad on some things and it hasn't always been like that. Anyway, I was reading other sites and saw the words Mindfull self and had one of those ah ha moments that this was what she wanted me to look into. After reading for a while I got bored and moved on to something else. But I kept thinking about it, which is another issue in itself, and I found a couple guided meditations on-line and tried those and felt a calm come over myself. So there must be something to this. Also I have found that I think too much, which causes problems with communicating with people. I listen and have to digest what I've heard and then I'm ready to discuss it, but by then it's usually too late. By the time I get back with the counselor or who ever I was talking too other topics are more important at that point. But the more I think about the  issues the more worry and stress I cause on myself.

Also, in reading about Mindfull self that this technique is used with Borderline Personality Disorders. So I looked into that aspect. I took an on-line test, and I know they are not always valid, but it showed that I was at a high risk for BPD. I read more on the topic and it explained a lot of what I have been feeling but unable to put my finger on why it was happening. Shoot, at this pace I may have to bill myself for therapy

I'm the kind of person that if I have something to work with I will try to fix it. I am the fixer here at home, work or where ever I am. But there has to be something to work with before you can recognize the issues and work on the repair. Also ordered some books, as slow as read though I may not be able to apply anything I learn because I will have forgotten why I was reading them

[wingnut]

Honestly, it sounds like you are on the right path.
Working on therapy, thinking and poking around, you are exploring and learning, reading. Mindful meditation is an incredibly strong tool. Keep it up!

[Dyess]

Thanks Wingnut, most days it's hard to have the drive to look into this stuff. So the day(s) that I do have this I try to make the most out if it. I think we all need to take responsibility in our healing as an active member. Who knows us better than ourselves? We need to share that with a professional and get some tools, ideas on what's going on with us and try to find ways to feel better. You can't just depend on your counselor and doctor to make you better without your involvement and work on your part. So, I'm doing the work on my part, if it works out that's a good thing but if it doesn't , it's going to be very disappointing.

[Dyess]

Geesh I thought I was making progress, but from reading other posts I still have a ways to go and other things to look into. Today has been a less productive day, my desire to look for answers is little to none. In fact I'm having problems even reading these posts, it's like my mind doesn't want to hear anymore about this. So I guess I am done for the night, g'nite.

[Dyess]

Thanks BH I agree that this has to be done in baby steps. I didn't know that in the beginning , I wanted it here and now. Thinking that past issues had already been resolved and put away and then in a moment they are back and real again. Some days I sleep for 36 hours and still don't feel rested, I'm so restless. We can't seem to get that under control. I may stop the therapy soon , once my job is gone I will no longer have insurance and $175 a visit is a little steep for something I already know of. We will see though.
Thanks again for responding. I see my counselor tomorrow, can hardly wait ....not