Conference on Trauma starting 21st September 2019 - free to view

[Kizzie]

I tried to watch a couple of the talks and just could not concentrate so I'm honouring that. We're getting ready to move so I'm letting me know there's too much going on right now I guess.

The notes are really helpful because I can come back to them when I have less going on   

[Hope67]

Hi Kizzie, Good luck with your move.  Hope all goes well.   

I'll try to put my notes for Day 8 of the Conference, which was a talk by Dr Stephen Porges PhD called "Demystifying the Body's Response to Trauma: A Polyvagal Perspective."

My notes:
Dr Porges is a University scientist.  He developed the Polyvagal theory.  He described this as being a way of conceptualising an intervening variable between stimulus and response and that it emphasises the importance of the physiological state.
Documenting our history - usually re: events rather than physiological responses.
He looks at importance of the physiological state as an intervening variable.
Polyvagal theory - let's put autonomic state back in.
If it feels bad, it's potentially bad.
If it feels good, we could be mis-reading cues.
Trauma: Disorganised attachment and violation of trust.
Cues can mean different things to different people.

Trauma triggers.  If been violated and shut-down.  Devastating.  Bodies become immobilised.  Anxiety - traumatic experience retuned our system.  We evolve to co-regulate with another.
Disconnection.
Are you enjoying being alive?
Functionally adaptive.

Trauma - like an archer.
Takes away our purpose.  Feeling of enjoyment.  Not a cognitive structure.  Biological impact.  Influences how we interact and experience.

Dorsal to Ventral
Shut-down, dissociation towards mobilisation (ventral), engaged state.
"Look at these friendly faces"  "Moon eyes"  "Engaging"  - create a relationship.
Co-regulation - both ways.
Voices regulate vagal pathway.
Face-heart; Voice-heart.
Vocalisations - cues.
Civilization - learned words.
Body knows - gestures etc
Cell phone - threat response
Read on wide-screen better than thin screen (computer screen versus cell-phone)  Different reactions.

Dr Porges spoke of his own experience with prostrate cancer in 2013.  Spoke in detail about this, and concluded that "accepting of one's own experience and one's own self rather than blaming your body" and emphasised 'self-care' (I left out a lot of detail here, but didn't feel I could write my notes as it might not express his thoughts and feelings accuarately to note such personal things)  (He is fine and doing very well now - to reassure people).

Traumatised family and environment
Co-regulation - physiological trust.
Nuanced vocabulary
Being present.
Therapists should be ventral and regulated.

Breathe with different ratios.  Inhale for long period and exhale slowly. 
Ventral breathing - Eastern philosophy.  Slow exhalations increase.  Ventral experiences.  Exhale slowly.
More time between your breaths.  Add words before take the next breath.

Sensitive to body states.
Cues that trigger body change states.
Polygraph.

Neural-exercises: Breathing; Posture shifts - blood pressure changes create feedback loops that trigger the vagal activity; singing; listening; and playing with people (face-to face interactions)
Spoke of Jane Shaw's 'embodied listening' work in Ireland.  Looking at how we feel whilst listening.
Moments of trust and safety.
Safe mobilisation.  Ventral vagus with dorsal = intimacy. 
System = hierarchical. 
Higher structures inhibit lower structures.
Dorsal-vagus - homeostatic function.
Irritable bowel syndrome; migraine; fibromyalgia
Body in state of defense

Tom Bunce - visualise trust incompatible with anxiety states.  He has written books (can't remember what the content is - something about flying planes...?) (I was losing connection within this talk)

Ventral vagus - co-regulation system.
Eating and feeding; Social behaviour.

Trauma: Effectiveness of ingestive circuit is depressed.  Social mobilisation = more engaging.  Social behaviour.

Theory = structure that grows.

Website: Stephenporges.com

(I think these notes aren't all that helpful really - as I read them back, I don't feel they really explain things like the actual talk did - so apologies for that, but hopefully if you've listened to the talk, then it might jog your memory of the talk, or might at least have some pointers in it to look at his work - it was great to see his enthusiasm for his research area, and I enjoyed listening to his talk).

Glad that the Conference is finished, as I can now try to consolidate what I heard, and I can come back here to read my notes in the future, and also those that were written by Jazzy and Blueberry. 

Hope 

[Blueberry]

I find your notes really helpful too Hope! Today's conference does look interesting from your notes but I've been on the go since 5 AM and am accepting that I am just too tired! I may type in some of my own notes and/or thoughts in a day or two.

[Jazzy]

Thanks Blueberry. I'm looking forward to your notes, but get some rest and take care of yourself.

I feel like I missed a lot of that talk, but I'm not really sure how to put it in to words. I really liked the part about the middle ear too. I find it awesome when we find physical evidence to explain our psychological behaviors like that.

Thank you for your notes again Hope. They really helped me. I had a difficult time focusing on today's talk. I'm not sure why, but your notes help jog my memory.

This is literally what I took down as notes during the talk today:

Dr. Stephen Porges
Demystifying the Body's Response to Trauma: A Polyvagal Perspective


+32wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (cat)

stephenporges.com

From what I remember Tom Bunce's books are about visualizing trust in order to help overcome fears/phobias (fear of flying etc). I'm not sure exactly how that's done though, I guess the books will tell us.


Maybe small TW. I mention self medicating/substance abuse, and overeating.


A couple of points that resonated with me:

First, about how the question we should be asking is "Are you enjoying being alive?", and how this should be how we measure success. I can't agree with this more. It meant so much to me to hear that, because I used to be "successful". Despite the odds, and what I went through as a child, I forced myself through all my CPTSD symptoms for a while (self medicating, substance abuse etc). and landed a pretty decent job, worked hard and completed all the training and schooling I could get my hands on, which lead to a decent career that I absolutely loved, with a generous salary, and a lot of potential to "move up the ladder". I had a "more comfortable" life than most people at that age. The thing is though, I couldn't keep it up. Now, I live a much different life, where I have very little and am very alone, but overall, I feel better, and am treating my body much better. So, I would say that I am much more successful now that I am "less successful".

Another thing that I connected with, is when Dr. Porges was talking about how trauma is formed. He talked about being in these states where ventral vagus system was primary, but a secondary system was involved as well. Ventral Vagal/Parasympathetic system together is when we are playing, and Ventral vagal/dorsal is intimacy. In both of these states the primary is the ventral vagal state, in which we feel safe and connected and are co-regulating with another person. We trust this other person, to the point where we feel safe enough to engage in these secondary states. Trauma happens when that person violates that trust, and us, and we should be in a primary sympathetic or dorsal state, but we are not. This really explains so much to me, especially how it is that the people we trust the most, hurt us the worst.

The last point I want to talk about is in regards to eating disorders. In infancy, our primary source of comfort is nourishment. This is demonstrated in how a baby needs to eat before sleeping. As we grow and mature, this system is supposed to be replaced by a system of regulation, and even more of co-regulation. When those people we are co-regulating with do something to traumatize us, we lose faith in that system, and even our own regulation (our system was in the wrong state). This leaves us with our initial system of seeking comfort through nourishment. I found that to be very interesting, as I've never heard this even be addressed before. Even though I tend to eat not enough instead of too much, I can really see this in effect. For some reason, especially today, I have eaten so much sugar... and of course, am not feeling as great as I would like (but its still a nice treat).



Over all, I think the conference was great, and I'm really appreciative of the opportunity to listen in. I think I will appreciate a break after 8 days in a row (my attention is a bit wandering), but I will also miss it in big way, now that it is over. Perhaps I will pick up some of these books that have been referenced.

[Kizzie]

Despite the odds, and what I went through as a child, I forced myself through all my CPTSD symptoms for a while (self medicating, substance abuse etc). and landed a pretty decent job, worked hard and completed all the training and schooling I could get my hands on, which lead to a decent career that I absolutely loved, with a generous salary, and a lot of potential to "move up the ladder". I had a "more comfortable" life than most people at that age. The thing is though, I couldn't keep it up. Now, I live a much different life, where I have very little and am very alone, but overall, I feel better, and am treating my body much better. So, I would say that I am much more successful now that I am "less successful".

Don't want to derail this thread but I could have written this Jazzy.  So much of my CPTSD has been about trying to power through life despite all the symptoms.  I did well too until I just didn't have the energy anymore and my body, heart/spirit and mind basically shut me down.

I hope that by knowing more what is involved in CPTSD these days, survivors will learn to work with their symptoms rather than against them and at much earlier age than many of us here started.

[Jazzy]

That's a beautiful sentiment Kizzie, and you're doing great work to help make that happen. Thank you so much!

[Kizzie]

 

[Hope67]

I think it was great that a few of us were able to watch this Conference at the same time, and it's been so much better to have the opportunity to discuss our experiences and share the notes etc here. 

Jazzy, I also related to so much that you wrote above - I feel like I could have written those things myself as well. 

I am glad that there's a rest now from daily conference sessions though, as it was tiring.  I've been grateful of some days to allow things to settle and consider things more.  Although, even as I write that, another part says to me (Yes, but you were still pushing and watching more things on Thursday, and that impacted on your day - you must write about that in your journal)  So I'll make sure I write myself a note in my journal to write about that over the weekend, as it was important to me.
Hope