Could this be physical abuse? TW (I think)

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Ambassador

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Could this be physical abuse? TW (I think)
« on: September 23, 2019, 09:28:01 PM »
Hello all. In wading through the quagmire of memories, I've come across a couple instances that are at least emotionally abusive, but I'm not certain qualify as physical. I'm hoping to see if anyone here may know.

Trigger Warning (I think)
So in my family with my dad and stepmother, it was one of the top themes that being overweight (ie, not stick thin) was unacceptable. Exercise was required when my sister and I went for custody visits, and we often did things like a 7 mile bike ride despite us not being at all prepared for or eased into it, or in shape for it (the rest of the time, with mom, we ate normal American diet and didn't exercise so were chunky). We weren't allowed to dismount our bikes on the hills, and I recall being told "if you can still talk, you aren't going hard enough". Pain was dismissed. We were also required to eat whatever we were given, even though I was made sick by dairy, as my dairy allergy was undiagnosed at the time and therefore "fake". My sister was also required at one point to only eat food from a particular diet plan, though it made her sick from non-allergy causes.

I recognize the emotional abuse aspect of this, but would it qualify as physical abuse as well?

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Jazzy

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Re: Could this be physical abuse? TW (I think)
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2019, 11:35:35 PM »
Sorry you were put through this Ambassador.

I'm not a professional, but I would say it qualifies for physical abuse. Its not right to force someone in to a heavy exercise regime, especially without proper preparation. I'd say its way over the line when a "diet" makes you sick as well.

Take care! :)

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Three Roses

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Re: Could this be physical abuse? TW (I think)
« Reply #2 on: September 25, 2019, 03:37:02 PM »
 :hug: So sorry you went through that.

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Ambassador

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Re: Could this be physical abuse? TW (I think)
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2019, 05:20:38 AM »
Thank you for your replies, and helping confirm it. I wasn't certain since it didn't follow the traditional model, but I feel more confident in seeing it for what it is.

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Snowdrop

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Re: Could this be physical abuse? TW (I think)
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2019, 08:00:41 AM »
It makes me wonder about neglect as well, as your needs weren't met. It's certainly not right, and I'm sorry you went through it.

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sanmagic7

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Re: Could this be physical abuse? TW (I think)
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2019, 03:43:56 PM »
i agree with the others - i see it as physical abuse as well as emotional, and i can also see the neglect side of it that snowdrop pointed out.  very sorry you had to go through that.  love and hugs, ambassador.   :hug:

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Three Roses

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Re: Could this be physical abuse? TW (I think)
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2019, 05:15:09 PM »
Now that I've had some time to consider this, I also see a mental cruelty aspect to it. The constant "You're not good enough" message. This makes me angry for the way you were treated. Every child needs acceptance and gentle guidance to thrive, and I'm so sorry you didn't get those.  :hug:

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Re: Could this be physical abuse? TW (I think)
« Reply #7 on: September 30, 2019, 02:45:20 AM »
Thank you for the warmth, everyone. It's funny (/not funny) how things that seem normal and reasonable at the time can be quite the opposite in retrospect.