DavidUK Journal

[Not Alone]

I started to read the Pete Walker book a few weeks ago 'cover to cover' instead of just dipping in and out as I had been doing.
The stories he described about his experiences and those of people he met sent me so far back into my own memories and so often that I gave up! For every few sentences forward I was spending half an hour or more in my past!!
I might go back to it some other time as I find it very interesting...but for now it's in the draw of my bedside table 😊

I also found Walker's book to be triggering. I put it away for awhile, and several months later went back to it. It was still triggering, but I took it more slowly.

[woodsgnome]

I've run into the triggering phenomenon in numerous books, Walker's definitely being one of them. It's disappointing in that one wants to dive into these sorts of reads, almost devour them to wring out every morsel of knowledge that they contain.

The anticipation of discovery builds to a 'this is it' mentality. The feeling of 'this author gets it' builds and I'm eager to find the how and why of how she/he did it. And then, sometimes early on, it all gets a tad overwhelming. I've become angry that it just seems so hopeless.

That's when it's been important to adjust the expectations and most important, to keep up with any self-care practices (meditation, exercise, music, etc.) one has in place. What's hardest for me is not having a human support person (beyond my T) to help smooth things over a bit.

Even given the drawbacks, these reads can at least fill in the blanks of one's understanding. Lots of patience may be required, but I've found that's perhaps even the most important element.

So I hope you find a way forward with this, David, as you take further steps on the journey towards healing.

[DavidUK]

Hi Three Roses and Woodsnome 

Thanks very much for your book suggestions and your very interesting feedback. Three Roses I will definitely look up the books you suggest as I agree with you that all reading material around the subject is useful even if not 100% relevant to my situation.

And Woodsnome I can totally relate to your comment about "devouring and wringing every last morsel of knowledge" out of books when you finally come across an author who 'gets it', and virtually every one of the experiences they write about you say, "yep that's me!".

I think I will go back to Pete Walkers book at some point and maybe follow his suggestion of reading the most relevant sections for me before looking at all the rest.

This morning I've just been released from the secure unit of my local mental health hospital where I was detained for my own safety for the last 24hrs. I'm a bit tired and jaded as I didn't sleep much but otherwise ok to carry on 'upwards and onwards' one step at a time 😊

I hope everyone else has a peaceful day and I am going to rest, relax and recuperate now!

Best wishes and  to all 😊👍

[DavidUK]

hi notalone
[/quote]
I also found Walker's book to be triggering. I put it away for awhile, and several months later went back to it. It was still triggering, but I took it more slowly.
[/quote]

That sounds like the way forward to me...
Thank you
😊👍

[DavidUK]

This week I have been reviewing the circumstances of last week which caused me to end up spending the night in mental hospital, and putting in place new coping strategies to prevent it happening again.
There's no need for any specific details here suffice to say I felt threatened in the hostel where I live, my messages to staff for assistance/advice were unanswered, my GP practice told me to come back in 4 days for medication and the NHS crisis team refused to come and see me once I was in the safe custody of the police.
So this week I am staying in my room and not going into the communal areas at all for food etc.
I have a repeat prescription for my medication now, although when the crisis doctor did eventually see me following my release from hospital she told me my medication is available over the counter without prescription for £8 so I could have had that at any time.
Fundamentally that's it but it means I'm no longer on reliant on GP for medication and although I'm spending more money on my own food I've arranged with the local food bank to get food parcels if I run out of money.
So overall I'm more in control of my situation moving forward than I was previously.
And playing 'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon and Garfunkel on repeat to soothe my mind! 😂

[Three Roses]

Oh, sorry I missed your post about your hospitalization! Don't know how I missed it. I'm sorry that happened but thankful that you're safe. I'm also glad you are more in control and that you're moving forward.

There's nothing like music to soothe your mind! I like to listen to new age music like Liquid Mind, Steven Halpern and Drifting In Silence.

[DavidUK]

  hi Three Roses,
Thanks for your message! As I say above, maybe not all, but "nearly every cloud has a silver lining"..
Last week while I was sat in my favourite local cafe, I was accompanied by two police officers, so it was apparent to everyone that there was an issue, although I guess nobody knew exactly what was going on.. I know all the staff in this cafe and a few of the regulars by name, and quite a few others I know their faces and say, " hello" to etc in passing..
So this week one of the regulars who I have never spoken with before asked me, "hello David, how are you? It is David isn't it?"
So of course I said, " I'm fine thanks" and we introduced ourselves..
It turns out that this gentleman runs a mental health support group every Thursday morning in the cafe, upstairs in their room which is available for private hire.
I had no idea that this group existed or held meetings there.
Furthermore, the guy has also been homeless, also has PTSD and when I mentioned OOTS he hadn't heard of it, so I was able to share that with him.
He has set up a Facebook group and although I no longer use fb I said I would check it out.
So there seems to be a very good opportunity for knowledge sharing, support, etc etc and next Thursday morning I will go along to my first meeting.
I doubt very much, had it not been for the presence of the police making my 'invisible' problem more 'visible' that any of that connection would have happened...
So this is just one of the positives which have come about this week, and there are others going on in terms of my future housing which I won't go into detail about now...
Riding out the storm and then getting back to 'working the problem' seems to be resulting in steady progress in the long term...
Thanks for the music tips! I admit I've never heard of those bands so I will check them out when I get the chance..👍
Best wishes to you and everyone and I hope you are all having a good weekend!

(for everyone that feels comfortable with them) 😊

[DavidUK]

There's nothing like music to soothe your mind! I like to listen to new age music like Liquid Mind, Steven Halpern and Drifting In Silence.

Three Roses I've listened to some of all three of the above and they are all great! I especially like Drifting in Silence so thanks very much for the recommendation and I hope you are well!

[Three Roses]

 Yes, thanks, I am well. Glad you liked them!

[Hope67]

HI DavidUK,
Just wanted to pop by and say hello - I've been away for a while, on a break from technology, but I'm back again.  Sending you a safe hug, if that's ok 
Hope 

[DavidUK]

 
Hi Hope, thanks for your message. I haven't been posting recently I'm just pottering along at the moment waiting until the NHS, Government and local Government admit that they have a responsibility to help me. This is taking ages because obviously they would rather say there is nothing wrong with me and they don't have to do anything. I'm in no rush so I'm just waiting around really. I'm avoiding society, staying in my room or going to a cafe where I usually feel safe so I'm not getting any better or worse. I hope you are ok, thanks for stopping by!

[Hope67]

Hi David,
I'm glad you have a café you can go to - where you feel safe. 
I know you said you're waiting at the moment, and you're not in any rush - that sounds like a good pace.  Hope you're doing ok.
  I am ok thanks.
Hope 

[Snowdrop]

Hi David,

I was thinking of you during this time, so I thought I'd drop by and say hello. I hope you're doing ok and able to stay safe.

[sanmagic7]

 

hope you're ok, staying safe and sane.  we're all in this together!  love and hugs, david