Playing With Options

[woodsgnome]

Some years ago I picked up a book called "Taming Your Gremlin", by Rick Carson. It's a rather light-hearted, short but to-the-point discussion about all things inner critic. It even has several great cartoon illustrations showing the gremlin/icr in action. My fave shows the snide-looking critter seated in a theatre, critiquing the on-stage actor (very apropos image for me as I was an improv actor for many years).

This snorty fellow is smug, as if he's ready to pounce on every word or movement that will, inevitably, not be to the gremlin's liking. I found this book to be a nice alternative to all the serious reads I go through in my frantic search for better ways to handle the aftershocks left by so much trauma. So I survived -- what now?

One takeaway from that book was this simple 3-word suggestion -- "play with options". Make no mistake, getting a grasp on all these symptoms, flashbacks, and associated hurts is always work in the ultimate sense. Yet even changing that one little word -- from work to play -- can perhaps make a dent in one's attitude while dealing with these perplexing issues.

I've probably experienced more lows than highs in my struggle to escape and/or live with cptsd, and still tend to  run into  walls at every turn. I've wanted to give up and somehow find myself just keeping on. Maybe 'keeping on' is a habit, too -- and I won't chase that one away. I'll play with keeping it around, now that it seems stronger. Playing with that option, I can visualize/play with it as a person or archetype, a symbol (e.g. sea-shell), or a feeling of 'can-do' to replace the 'this will never pan out' expectation.

Psychologically, I've come to accept the likelihood of not finding a full cure for all of cptsd's  long-term effects; I tense up just thinking of all that would involve. Yet I've noticed slight deviations, too; and looking back, I have to credit those 3 little words -- play with options -- as suggesting that there might be ways to detour around the inevitable frustration of always working so hard. And while not seeking an inevitable cure, maybe I'll find some healing along the way. This speaks to the idea of the journey being more important, not the past, and not the destination.

At least that's been my experience, thanks to a slight shift in how I use words. And how I translate those words into feeling better inside, just by playing with options -- inner child especially likes and deserves that. 

[Three Roses]

Absolutely LOVE this!

I was raised by people who were locked in to the "right" way of doing things. All things. I think this was a result of their own damage and that the familiarity helped them feel safer.

In my adult life, I realized that this was not how I wanted to live. (I may have gone to the other end of the spectrum in response to their extreme close-mindedness.  )

Unwittingly perhaps, and called by a different name, this has been my stance - to be more relaxed in my reaction/response to stimuli, to not have firm expectations of others. To open myself to other possibilities, to walk thru this life with an open mind, heart, and hands.

I do at times struggle with perfectionism, however, so this was a great reminder, Woodsgnome. Thanks!

[Kizzie]

So I survived -- what now?

Your post really resonated with me WG because I've been asking myself this question and struggling a bit to be honest.  I am in my early 60's and don't want to spend another couple of decades working on recovery.  It's already been a long journey and I want so much just to release my trauma as much as I can to the universe and live well in whatever time I have left on this planet. 

even changing that one little word -- from work to play -- can perhaps make a dent in one's attitude while dealing with these perplexing issues.

I know when I did some Inner Child work the thing that got younger me to come out finally was actual play so I think your idea may have some legs as far as recovery - fun to try at least.    This might sound a bit crazy but I've always thought we could really use a summer camp where we could go back and be kid-like in a healthy, safe, fun environment.

[Not Alone]

So I survived -- what now?

  This might sound a bit crazy but I've always thought we could really use a summer camp where we could go back and be kid-like in a healthy, safe, fun environment.

That would be awesome.