Have been dealing with an older woman who's life is pretty much just lonely and she's pretty angry in general... when ever the group is together she tries to monopolize individuals with her stories and political views - such as - any woman who has a child out of wedlock and is on assistance should be forced to do this, that, or the other, they should have no rights.... or something about this person died, that person died of a horrible disease or how she punched some dude in the nads a long time ago. Same stories repeated over and over... anyway, she brought me some old photos to scan and adjust for her in Photoshop.
I scanned and attempted to fix the photos, but the originals were very fuzzy and some of them were nothing more than xerox copies... I brought the originals back to her and told her there was really not much I could do with them some time ago (last year). Over the past two weeks she has been hounding me to get the originals back. Since I'd already given them back to her, I told her she had them and had taken them home. In front of our friends at a large gathering she told me I had not given them back numerous times. Came real close to creating a scene in front of the whole group. I figured she just set them down somewhere in her house and can't find them. So, I take the scans that I had, printed out a whole new and improved set and gave them to her (all free of charge). I asked her again if she had found them and of course she said I had not given them to her, that I had sent them to someone else and that I should contact that person to get them back... don't know where that came from because they were not sent anywhere.
During the verbal exchange I told her in private that I didn't appreciate being told that I was lying and doing it in front of mutual friends was not appropriate nor fair. Told her that if she had a beef with me it should have been addressed privately. I started feeling my frustration and anger build. Took several deep breaths and then told her that I didn't need to talk to her right now that I was getting angry and didn't want to continue the conversation. She would not leave me alone and followed me around wanting to talk about it more - I walked away from her several times during the evenings event.
Now I'm wondering if my anger/frustration was justified or if I should have just let it go because it was a trigger reaction that is mine to own. I grew up facing this same dynamic within the FOO as the SG. It is so hard to stand up for myself and this was one of the few times I did. When I dealt with her I was respectful but firm, told her quietly that I did not deserve to be treated that way and wouldn't accept being called on the carpet in front of a group of friends by her or anyone else. Now I feel guilty for standing up for myself and for letting her trigger me. On the plus side, at least I realized it was a trigger and was able to stop myself before it escalated... this crap is tough to deal with.
