Hi! New here

[LiLi]

He-llo,
Me here.
I'm 42 married with two kids. I thought I could just get over this. I realize it just is. I have been in therapy for about two years now. I'm ready to get to know more about me.
My husband really does not understand. He gets so upset. It is hard to explain why I am so afraid. He says there is nothing out there, but I'm not so sure.
It is a struggle. I feel so alone.
Glad for a forum like this so... Hello.

[Kizzie]

Hi Lili and a very warm welcome to OOTS    Glad you found your way here as you will not be alone with your CPTSD now.  There are so many warm and supportive members here who can understand what you're going through and will share their insights and experiences.  Recovery isn't easy but it makes such a difference to have a safe place to talk about things where you will be validated. 

Have a look around as there are lots of forums and resources here.   One note of caution - it can be overwhelming so many of us find that going slowly and taking breaks is helpful, at least initially.  Also, it may be that you will find some resources that you can show your H to help him understand what CPTSD is and that it can be successfully treated.  Would your therapist consider talking to him do you think (i.e., about the long term effects of ongoing trauma)?  It really helps to be validated at home.

When you're comfortable doing so, please feel free to post here or in any of the forums that seem relevant to your situation. 
   

[LiLi]

Yeah. I kinda overdid it yesterday. I was trying to write notes on a lot of things that I could relate to. I wanted to share with my H. Today I feel so anxious. It is hard to be still.
I took it to the garden and am digging my way to happy. Focusing on self care today.
Thanks for the warm welcome.

[Kizzie]

Love that you are digging your way to happy lol.  Gardening is great self-care