i'm getting old

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sanmagic7

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i'm getting old
« on: October 06, 2019, 06:22:06 PM »
my birthday is tomorrow, the 7th, and i'll be 72, which is the inverse of the age of my spirit, 27.  suddenly, i'm feeling old as i wrestle w/ not being able to do as much as i want to do, as much as i used to do, and seeing a completely different face in the mirror.  that's been going on for a while, but it's still upsetting not to be able to recognize myself.  i guess this is one of the downer birthdays for me.  i think the last one was when i was 35 or so. 

i'm just sad.   :'(  as much as i've accomplished, when i look back at how clueless i was about myself, floating thru life, not really having opinions or concrete thoughts and realizations, things could've been so different.  i just hope i don't feel this same way next year.  i don't want the rest of my life to be 'what if's'.  i know i still have work to do here, and i'm doing it, and that's satisfying, but i just got into this melancholy.  i feel like this inverse birthday is significant, for some reason, but i don't know why. 

so, yeah.  don't quite know what this is all about.  maybe it's because i feel like it's a miracle i've lived this long, and that scares me.  maybe this should've been in my journal instead of here.   it's a confusing age - there are still things i do, i can't relate to all these white-haired people around me, i'd never fit in a senior center, but there are definite signs that remind me every day i'm no spring chicken anymore.  so, happy birthday to me.

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notalone

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Re: i'm getting old
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2019, 06:31:08 PM »
sanmagic,

You have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this birthday. I celebrate you. I have experienced care and nurturing from you and I thank you. I hope you have special moments tomorrow.  :party: :cake: :phoot: :bighug:

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SharpAndBlunt

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Re: i'm getting old
« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2019, 06:32:02 PM »
Happy Birthday to you, sanmagic, congrats and here's to no longer floating through life!

 :cake:
« Last Edit: October 06, 2019, 07:15:56 PM by SharpAndBlunt »

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woodsgnome

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Re: i'm getting old
« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2019, 07:00:52 PM »
Toting up what you contribute here, I see nothing but an enormous heart full of empathy, thoughtful sharing, and the courage to always live as you feel called.

The simplest way to put it? ---  :hug:

 

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Snowdrop

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Re: i'm getting old
« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2019, 07:05:42 PM »
Happy birthday! :party:

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Kizzie

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Re: i'm getting old
« Reply #5 on: October 06, 2019, 08:46:40 PM »
:fireworks:  Happy 27th Birthday San!   :fireworks:

:party: It's party time   :cake: :phoot: 

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Bach

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Re: i'm getting old
« Reply #6 on: October 06, 2019, 09:02:21 PM »
Happy Birthday, san!  Your spirit is beautiful and deeply appreciated at any age. 

 :fireworks: :cake: Enjoy your day! :party:

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Tee

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Re: i'm getting old
« Reply #7 on: October 06, 2019, 11:53:30 PM »
 :cake: :bighug: :party: happy birthday San!  I'm happy you are here and hope that your day is filled with peace and joy! :hug:

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Blueberry

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Re: i'm getting old
« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2019, 01:58:31 AM »
 :fireworks: Happy Birthday san! :fireworks:

 :hug: :hug:

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Hope67

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Re: i'm getting old
« Reply #9 on: October 07, 2019, 02:15:54 PM »
Wishing you A Happy Birthday San - you are a special lady, and I hope that your day will be special in lots of ways for you. 

 :cake: :fireworks:

 :hug: :hug: :hug:
Lots of heartfelt hugs for you as well.

Hope  :)

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sanmagic7

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Re: i'm getting old
« Reply #10 on: October 08, 2019, 01:56:35 PM »
you beautiful people!  thank you thank you thank you ever so!!!  you helped make my birthday great this year, and i so appreciate that, and all of you.

regret, it's good to find someone my age.  we've come thru a lot of change in the world that others only know about in history books.  wait, what happened?  i just went to look for your post because i wanted to highlight something you said, and i couldn't find it.  i could've sworn you wrote something about what the meaning of your life was all about, and i wanted to respond that i just think i'm here until my job here is done.  and, this is part of my job.  did i imagine this?

notalone, thank you.  it turned out great after all.  this was one of those special moments!

s&b, thanks.  i do feel more grounded as i've kept on this path of healing and staying in touch here.

woodsgnome, thank you for those kind words.  so very sweet of you.

snowdrop, thanks!  it was a fun day!

kizzie, thank you for recognizing my inverse spirit age here.  that was very special to me.

bach, thank you so much for those lovely thoughts.  i ended up enjoying my day very much!

hey, tee, my birthday was indeed filled w/ peace and joy.  i'm glad you're here, too.  thanks.

blueberry, thank you for the well wishes.  it turned out great.

hope, thank you for that.  it was a special day, and i was made to feel special as well.

by the by, fireworks always make me smile, so thank you all for those, too.  you are all so wonderful, and some of my greatest birthday gifts.  love and hugs to you all!   :grouphug:

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Kizzie

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Re: i'm getting old
« Reply #11 on: October 08, 2019, 02:23:56 PM »
  :thumbup:     :grouphug: